Sanctimonia Vincet Semper
by ColiOli
Summary: Despite the end of the war, there was no peace for him. Voldemort's death had not removed the memories of the horrors he witnessed. And now the Ministry would come calling for their pound of flesh. For while on Voldemort's orders, he was by far innocent. They had survived but now they needed to face justice and above all learn to live again. Post-DH Pre-Epilogue No Pairings yet
1. In the Beginning

This is my first fanfiction I have written so I would love any negative (yes I do not mind) or positive criticism. I looked on this website trying to find the aftermath of the Malfoys but did not really see anything, and it seems like such a big thing for them. So here is my attempt at answering how their lives turn about.

I have some warnings though, there is drinking in this, but I am not going to turn this into a 'Draco is a drunk' story. That is not where my story will end up, it is just a part of this story and serves to show his mother's unconditional love no matter the mess of her child. I will explain further on as I go why it is important for this story.

Now, I will say this once, I do not own any of this story or Harry Potter. That credit goes to the amazing J.K. Rowling.

DMDMDMDM

Inside the Malfoy Manner, a bright new light filled the room which had escaped through the window where frost had made its early morning appearance. Outside was a bitter chill that took hold of all plants and objects that lay in it's world. Muffled in a room below were voices of three adults, discussion beyond recognizable from this far. A blonde rolled in his waking and brought luxurious silver blankets closer to his face. How long it had been since he had got to sleep in some sort of peace? He could not last remember but wanted to enjoy his inner content for a moment longer.

He tried to draw his attention to the voices below. What were they saying? How long had he been sleeping for? He dared to open his sensitive eyes and sweep them over his surroundings, just to be sure it was real. The sunshine was back for a change.

His room, fit for a prince, large and well furnished. The furniture all made of dark wood and large window curtains of dark green, the bed in center of the room. Draco stretched his legs before deciding laying down was at a loss for time. Then the memories began to swim back. _It was over. Over. _

The war was finished, Potter did in fact save them all. But he knew this all along. Potter always was going to be the one to defeat Voldemort. Most everyone played smaller roles in the process, but in the end, Potter did deserve the credit. He recalled the hopelessness he had felt when he saw his form being carried by Hagrid knowing immediately what had happened. It had then occurred to him that they were all lost. Though his family took place behind their Lordship in the crowd, Draco stood firmly with the school. He so wanted to just perish with them. He couldn't continue the life that The Dark Lord wanted them to take. It was only when his mother and father practically begged him to come back over, he knew he had to do it for them. _For her._ His mother had always been what pulled him in and kept his mind sane during the dark times.

That was at the time when she was all left in the world for him. Draco remembered a time not so long ago when him needing his own mother had really sank in.

"_The Dark Lord does not wish to continue waiting Narcissa..." Kneeled down on the floor beneath his frame, Narsicca nodded, a quiet sob threatened to escape her lips. "Why is it that your family seems to always disappoint? I had once considered my close assets... to you and Lucius." He paced around her, in circles, twisting Lucius's wand while looking at her head. He seemed to be debating a thought in his mind regarding what he was to do with her. "You continue to leave me no choice... Malfoys." _

_Lucius who had been holding his breath nearby gasped. "My L-l-lord-"_

"_Silence!" Voldemort eyed his objector, as if contemplating his fate next. Lucius shut his mouth tight not wanting to be next. Draco who stood next to his own father could only eye the floor. His breath was held tight in his chest, heart beating in whole body, while a form seemed to grow in his throat. He could not look at her. It would only make it more real._

"_I wish to give a lesson to you, Draco." Draco made eye contact immediately. Even if the situation were not to grave, he would have been stupid not to. Always obey the Dark Lord. He had known that for so long ago, and here they were, time are time... "What shall I do? Draco?"_

_Draco seemed to fumble for thought. His mothers own punishment, left to his dispense. _

"_Remember before deciding Draco, that while this be your own Mother, remember she gave her allegiance to me. She knew what was at stake. Now think of me Draco, what does your Lord seek more than anything now?"_

"_Potter."_

"_Yes. And where was he only moments ago?"_

"_H-...here." _

"_Now, you know what the consequence is for not obeying me. I said do not lose HIM!" _

_Draco looked stunned, still avoiding his mother on the floor who now let a tear shed her face. _

"_Draco baby, its ok." She whispered encouraging thoughts his way. As if this were a simple task. _

"_Silence Narcissa." Voldemort looked at Draco, waiting for him to find his words. _

"_I can't do it." _

_Voldemort walked towards Draco, and with his long pale fingers lifted Draco's chin to meet his eyes trying to show Draco he could trust him. "You wish to disobey your Lord once again? I cannot think that this would come easy to you, as you are already paying for your last fault where Severus was there to recover your cowardice. Now I must teach you to grow. You know the curses your father has taught you. Now you must pick, and I want to see your perform them." Draco, wide eyed, could not remove his stare. Surely this was not real. Surely his father would protect her. But he no words came from him. Nothing... _

Draco made his eyes open. He could not return to that place. Not now, not ever. It did not good to think of it now.

His frame ached with fatigue, with needing nourishment. How long had it been since he actually ate a good meal? It was always offered in plenty, their family _was_ wealthy enough to provide for all the death eaters. But he had never really felt like eating more than his mother encouraged. He still couldn't fathom eating now, but he knew he couldn't lay here all day. He needed to see her anyways, remind himself it was really over.

Sitting up into a sitting position to let the blankets drop from his frame, Draco shivered, but carried on with getting up despite the cold. It felt nice to think of something practical towards life. In life it was a goal to feed yourself, stay healthy, stay warm. It was not normal to avoid being murdered each day.

Placing warm feet upon a cold floor, he made his way towards a closet where the finest clothes could be worn. Choosing the normal attire for himself, black jacket, black slacks which were fitted to his frame. He picked up a wand from his nightstand and placed it within a jacket pocket. Draco found some shoes and made towards a bathroom nestled in his room. It would do no good to not make himself at least presentable even if it was just his family, and Snape.

With his appearance presentable, Draco walked out of his bedroom, lightly closing the door behind himself. The hallway outside his bedroom was even more bright with morning light than his room. A long hallway, one side dark wood doors, the other wall held large frosted windows. To the left of Draco's room led to a large staircase, then another long hallway further down. To the right was towards a more narrow staircase, which also led to the voices. Curtains down the hallway were all black, and all needing care. One long ago his mother would of made sure they remained dust free, but that was a task that didn't seem so important when death eaters had dwelled in their home. The house elves were much too busy meeting their demands, and no one noticed these things then anyways.

The voices came to a short stop as footsteps could be heard coming down the smaller staircase. Draco made his slow descent down the stone steps stopping short near the bottom steps only to notice the three adults were in midst conversation and obviously did not want him to hear their prior discussion. His eyes drifted first to his old potions professor who was seated in the center table facing him, his seat half drawn from the table. Severus stared back as if bored with the whole endeavor. His wounds appeared to be healing since less blood lingered but those bandages still played their part upon his neck.

His eyes glanced at his father, sitting at head of table. _Where he sat not too long ago._ His father only had eyes for his mother and followed her brisk moves around the seating area. Narcissa had obviously cleaned the area, removed any lingering dust or even _blood _that had found its way on their belongings of the dinning room. She had retreated from the room for only a moment but came back carrying a vase of flowers and placed them in center of their table.

"See," She said, "These look just lovely, exactly what our home could use."

Draco only sneered in her way which caught the attention of her and his former professor. His father seemed to not notice or even care.

"What my love?" She turned her body towards him, one hand placed on the back of a chair.

Draco took two steps down from the staircase and made slow movements towards the middle of the room. He stopped next to his mother resting both his palms on the next chair over. "It just seems kind of silly, is all."

"Silly?" She inquired, looking him directly in the eyes while he stared at her pointless idea lost in thoughts at the simple arrangement in front of his face.

"Yes mother. Just kind of ironic you know." He recalled once sitting in this same spot, watching, _sick_, as a teacher of his was murdered, only feet above where those flowers now sat. Her body splattered with blood from countless hours of torture, the only purpose for that was to humiliate her existence. She had even begged for her life, even begged the man who sat across from him now. How badly then he had wanted to disappear in order not to watch the scene unfold. It seemed that sometimes it was all he could think about. All the countless hours of victims and what they endeared here in this home. _His own fear never ceasing. _

Severus cleared his throat which stopped his thoughts short. Sometimes his skill in legilimency made him question how much he intruded others thoughts without permission. Though he had not made eye-contact, Draco still wondered how much his former teacher studied actions and thoughts enough to sense what they were thinking.

"I don't know how you mean Draco. I thought that this is what this room needed. What _we_ need." She stretched a hand out and touched her sons elbow. "Please don't be so quick to judge what I am trying to do for our family."

Draco snatched his arm from his mothers grasped and took a step back to face her. Her eyes looked so sorrowful, as if silently apologizing to her one and only child. How could her tell her what he felt? She so needed to forget, which he just could not do. "I just... I don't see how this," his hand indicated the vase of bright plants, "is what we need mother. You put these here, and it is so ironic after what happened. I just cannot see the same reasoning as you. It's pointless." He removed his eye-contact with her at once, not wanting to see what pain he had caused for her.

She seemed to not get it. How could they simply move on from this? They had no place left in the world. None. The only thing left that he could fathom was to rot in this house. They were not wanted outside these walls. They my as well go live in with the existence of muggles, where they belonged.

Narcissa dropped her gaze for a moment, seeming to contemplate what her son's message meant. She looked at his face, trying to read his features. He looked so lost. Her dragon was lost. "Lucius, do you think it is pointless?" She picked her gaze up to look at her husband who tried to ignore the conversation.

He made a soft noise with his throat, and just gazed in the center of the table. His thoughts really hadnt been following the conversation. He only looked at her and made a short movement with his shoulder. He did not realize how desperately she needed him, how lost she really was. Though her mother instincts took hold, she could not justify to show it. Serverus who had remained silent the whole time, drew in the families despair. He knew what struggles they faced.

His whole time while living a double life, he could not assist this family in any way but to remain his part as the death eater who murdered Dumbledore. The same act that he tried to draw Draco in on, who only refused his help. Draco's mind was so absent, his gaze constantly dreary and drawn to stare at pointless objects. Serverus knew what darkness took hold of this family, especially the young-man across the table. The Malfoys never really wanted to remain in this war, but their loyalties were so latched onto the Dark Lord, they dared not betray him. Only one fate would have been left. Draco seemed to have no real choice no matter his parents decision, he acted as his parents needed.

"Perhaps, Draco-"

"I don't need you to tell me _Professor_, what you think!" Draco did not even look at his old school teacher before turning heel and beginning to leave the room. "I'm leaving for a while."

Narcissa began to head after her child, her long black hair flowing behind her. _"_Where will you be going?"

He stopped short and turned to the room. "I hear the muggles have this great way to sorrow their feelings. Hide themselves. You would know all about wouldn't you father? But I forget you don't need any sort of liquor for that." He brushed his mother off with a wave of his hand and continued to storm from the home.

A slam of the main door told them he had left. Narcissa brought her hand to her lips and brushed them with her knuckles, before turning around and taking herself up the flight of stairs to retreat to her own defeat.

Silence was brought short by Lucius who finally made an effort to speak. "I think I will go to lie down for a while my friend. Will you be all right?" Severus knew he was speaking of his wounds.

"I believe I can manage." With that said Lucius gave him a curt not and rose from his chair. He left his friend alone in the seating room with his thoughts.

There was so much left un-done for this family. It felt so long ago; the War at Hogwarts. Where was he to continue after this? What was left? He knew his full confession was within a pensive where Potter had taken his tear drops. But who would believe he still could exist without evil? And now the boy knew. At the time he gave Potter his tears and full story he had felt he was done with this world. He had accepted death then and had always considered it eventually imminent. He still had to thank Lucius for being quick enough to bring him back and save him though. Even if he had accepted death then, he could see now that it may better he stayed if not for himself, for others.

Many hours had passed since Draco arrived at the small muggle bar. He once went to the small muggle town for fun of causing trouble. At the time of being underage they could not use magic but still had their own version of fun. Crabbe and Goyle did enjoy fighting with drunk homeless men for fun or stealing their wallets. Lucius had also used a confundus charm so the bartender thought Draco, Crabbe and Goyle were of age to drink. Countless times they had stumbled back home to his Manor making so much noise that muggles threatened to call police on them. When police did question their antics they were always able to escape back to Draco's home.

Now this bar just served as his escape. In a muggle world he never had to dwell on his own world's problems. Though he had drank on occasion he had never considered it a "_drinking problem", _as the muggles referred to it. His drinks on occasion cleared his mind, but sometimes if he had too much would make him feel more. So his drinking was really left to how he wanted to spend his evenings.

"_Draco! Draco Malfoy!" Narcissa came rushing down the stairs, obviously after her own son who stumbled in the door. This was one of those rare evenings that their home lay empty except for few. Death Eaters were on duty; Potter's was now 17 and moving location._

_Draco chose to ignore her, clutching the doorway frame for support. He would of apparated home but being drunk and apparating were not to go hand in hand, especially when one was so new to it. He could just end up apparating until he found somewhere to pass out or end up splinching himself. Instead he chose to stumble his way home in the middle of the night. _

"_Draco, look at me." She stood in his path before the large marble staircase. "You needed to be here tonight, what if they caught him? You should be here for that." _

"_S'not important... Mother." _

"_Draco, yes it is. Don't you realize what you are saying? If his Lordship were to hear-"_

"_I don' care!" Draco who had made it five feet away from the door stopped in his place to shout at her, apparently not too drunk to not follow the conversation. _

"_Draco. It is. Once this is over, we can move on. Our family. You."_

"_S'nothin left fer me.." By this time he had begun to make slow staggered steps towards the staircase, past Narcissa. A hand reached out and touched his arm. _

"_Draco, please." For once he stopped to listen. He could never hurt her, not now. Before it had been so easy to disobey his family. It was fun and rebellious then. He and his friends would come home drunk, break her things, chase the house elves. Their drunk fun was always at his mothers expense to fix everything with magic. His father gone with The Dark Lord, or in Azkaban. But that was when he was younger. Now he had to be a sort of stone, sturdy but bent to her support. Though he could hardly seem so at times. _

_Before he or she could say anything else he felt the curse of liquor coming to his senses, he was going to puke. Wretching for a moment, it seemed to take forever before the undigested liquor spilled to the floor. Bent over with his mother supporting his upper half, it was about then when he noticed Severus in the doorway leading out of the hall. _

_How long had he been there? _

_Spitting the last bit left in his mouth to the floor, his mother petting his head. Damn whiskey. _

_Severus took his chance to speak up. "Go up to your room, get sober before they return." He stepped forward and then said to Narcissa, "Take him up, please." She nodded before helping her son walk, carrying him around the mess. It only took Snape but a few seconds to clean it up with his wand. _

_The damn boy was going to get himself killed if he did not mind his mouth. Narcissa was right, if he were to hear those words of unloyalty he would of killed Draco on the spot. He was already looking for any reason to harm the family for both Draco's and Lucius's mistake. _

Draco took one last shot of whiskey, letting his body feel the burn first, before standing up with his coat in hand and nodding curtly at the bartender. He left muggle money at the counter before exiting the bar. Sometimes the muggle world was not so bad, though he would never admit it out loud.

The long walk home was welcomed this time. He was not drunk per-say, so could easily manage his journey home and the whiskey offered warmth which not even a simple spell could provide. The walk in fact was a chance for him to contemplate his own demons. What he had seen, once done and what he now tried to rid his mind of, no matter how many times the images just flashed back in his mind.

DMDMDMDMDMDM

Phew. I worked on this for a few hours so am hoping it turned out ok. I can feel my brain melting at the moment. Please let me know your thoughts, and I am sorry if I missed crucial points or had spelling errors. I am in need of a betta reader, so do inquire if you are up to it.

Let me know what you think, I am always looking to improve my writing.

I have fixed a little error in the chapter. Oops! Happy reading.


	2. Always

Alright so there will be more Severus in this chapter. Please review when you are done, it takes just a moment and I could use any advice! Thank you :)

And thank you to my first reviewer! I was starting to feel hopeless and then you came along lol. Thank you! I have been wanting to read a story like this for awhile but I may as well create it for you guys to hopefully enjoy.

The Malfoy Manor was always an exquisite place for Severus. His home itself mostly consisted of potions, a book room and a quite reading nook near the fireplace. Home was always a place of personal comfort, never requiring much. Lucius of course always had expensive items in their home with large sitting rooms to impress a host of guests, usually from the Ministry. For the old potions professor the most of a guest he ever had over was Dumbledore during one of his unannounced visits, or his closest of friends.

The whole day Severus had not been feeling up to doing much since his wounds were still healing, but to be fully honest with himself he could simply not stay in bed. In a way, a sort of weight was lifted from his soul. Not much weighed his mind because for once he could simply be himself. All the spy missions were at a rest, killing, hunting Potter, pretending to be an evil Headmaster. He was quite pleased to know the Ministry would now be normal and most death eaters would be locked away in Azkaban. Eventually they would come for him too, but that was a worry for another day. He didn't even know if they knew he was alive because the last person who had seen him was Potter, the Granger girl and Weasley. As far as they understood he was going to die and a full battle was in motion, no one was really there to save him.

Severus made his way through the library in the back of the mansion, more so than anything finding something to do with his time. If anything he should be in bed but he also had a mind to wait for Draco's return home. He needed to make a potion to reduce any lifelong effects of a snake bite. He chose an older book on the self, "Dark Injuries and Their Remedies" by Theodore Niftnickle. He wasn't knowledged of snake bites in particular or a simple potion would take no time for him to make.

Hardly flipping pages Severus found him mind dwelling back to the scene which had unfolded earlier that day. After everything which had taken place the last few years it wasn't surprising to see Draco lash out at the world. In fact it was almost expected in some ways. At one time Snape had thought the world of Voldemort, he wanted to please the Dark Lord and take reign of the Wizarding World with him. But he had a sense of evil in his younger self. Draco did not. He had only grasped this dark world because of his heritage. Having Lucius as a father and Bellatrix as an aunt. At Snape's youth this would have been a dream.

Draco had already seen so much evil in his short years lived. He had once been proud of his family, dark or not, they were his parents. And any parent in a child's eye is their pride. They were the defeaters of all evils at night such as scary stories including werewolves or vampires. At one point though, each teenager must grow out of this childish fantasy and see their parents as an actual person. And for Draco, his parents were the creators of those evils.

Severus remembered a time while teaching potions at Hogwarts that Draco had lingered behind class, delaying himself to get a chance to speak with the Professor.

"_Neville, if a pathetic example of a poison antidote was all you could muster out of that tiny brain of yours, I suspect you might find elsewhere in the world for yourself as you cannot expect yourself any O.W.L.S."_

"_Yes sir." The boy looked down at the ground. _

"_Now leave and do not return until you can manage a class without an exploding cauldron. Pathetic."_

"_Yes sir." The boy made a hurried effort to leave the class before any more of his pride could be brought down._

_Professor Snape just finished locking the cupboard to his supplies when he noticed a fourth year Slytherin still putting his own supplies in his bag. Draco looked up to the older man and for a moment hesitated to say anything but caught his teacher glance over. _

"_That pathetic Neville. I see one flaw in the Sorting Hat, he much rather belongs in Hufflepuff."_

"_Yes, quite certainly, but Gryffindor is no better Mr. Malfoy." _

_The fourth year nodded in agreement. Of course, but it was true. Neville could never seem to do much to give himself a good impression. _

_Draco fumbled with his bag for a moment before saying, "Sir, with the return of... some things..."_

"_Shh!" Severus took closer to the boy, regarding the room was still open to the student body. Once close enough to not possibly be overheard. "Yes, with the return of some things...?"_

_Draco also glanced towards the door. "Well sir, it just seems my father is acting different. When I last spoke to him I was under the impression he would be pleased by recent events. He always spoke so highly of... him. But he refused to say much and each time I asked he refused to let me know anything." _

"_Of course, he would be foolish to do so." _

"_I know. But I just thought he would be happy. But I know he is not. And I can tell they have been fighting, him and my mum." _

_Severus did not know what to say. Surely he thought this conversation would be about potions. His student did seem to excel and it came with an acquired curiosity. Draco noticed the loss of words from his Professor and spoke first before the drawn out silence could go out longer, "I'm sorry, I know that I shouldn't be discussing this."_

"_No, perhaps you shouldn't. But I assure you your father knows what he is doing. His allegiance was one of the most important but also putting his foot in the Ministry was very assisting." His voice became quieter, "The Dark Lord knows this Draco, but you have to imagine he did not expect to remain dormant for this many years." Draco nodded. "You are worried?"_

"_A little." He felt foolish admitting this. But he saw the way his parents changed when he returned. They were scared and Voldemort was angry with them._

"_Don't focus your fears where you cannot control." Draco looked over to some canned ingredients. He wasn't scared, but he felt odd about this even though he could not think of why._

"_Your father will be most pleased when his Lordship requires a new generation of his followers."_

_Draco looked to his potions master and gave a half smile. Yes, it was true, and he knew his time was going to come. Maybe once he was a part of the Death Eaters it would be fine then. His father would be proud of him and by then The Dark Lord will have forgiven them. _

"_Now, go along, you do not want to be late to your next class and lose my house it's well-earned points." _

_Draco nodded and began to leave out of the classroom, his shoulders sat up higher, a new found confidence in knowing his time was to come soon. _

After finishing reading the potion ingredients he needed, Severus sighed. What he needed was not here. Some things he would need to obtain. Closing the books contents, Snape placed the book back when a door slammed shut beyond the reading room. He went to see who had arrived as Lucius and Narcissa had both retired for the night, though he knew who it was.

By the time he found him, he was already making his way up the marble staircase. "You were gone for some time."

Draco turned to look over his shoulder and down to his teacher. Ex- teacher. "I hope you weren't waiting up for me."

"As much as you dislike the idea."

"What do you want?" Draco had turned around this time.

"I'd like to know if you could assist me. Unfortunately I am not fully up to health as you can see. While in the library I found what I was looking for regarding my injuries, and obviously seeing as I am surely to live, I would like to heal my wounds with as little left over damage as I can. But my unfortunate circumstance is I do not have all the ingredients, as you may notice I am not near my lab."

"I'm sure we have left over supplies here, the... others... left a lot of supplies..."

"Yes. I assumed so as well. Though the supplies left are not what I seek."

Draco nodded then cleared his throat. "When?"

"I will need to be by my own home soon. If I wait much longer I am sure to find a house of rummaged belongings."

Sighing, Draco rubbed his head and began his descent towards the lower level. "I was about to sleep sir, but as long as we make this quick."

"Surely." Draco stood directly by Severus's side and grabbed hold of his arm.

A tugging of his inner belly button and the swirl of images let him know his professor had taken charge in apparating them to their destination.

They landed outside a smaller cottage looking house in a landscape of rainy weather. The rain splattered on the cobblestone underneath their feet, little rivers forming at the edges. Cover of the night kept any muggles from seeing their sudden appearance.

With an already drenched cloak flowing behind himself, Severus made his way towards his home. From the outside, the inside of the house looked completely dark, a little creepy, if you were not a wizard with a wand.

Severus tapped his wand on the lock in a rap of a pattern. A click let Draco know it was a spell to unlock the door. After the door was opened a wave of Snape's arm lit the room with candle light. Inside was much warmer than the cold rain outside.

Inside the home was quite home like. Stacks of books lay in all corners of the home, lose papers and scrolls also lay scattered around. It was messy, but a lived in messy. Snape did not say anything as he stepped into a dark hallway leading to his potions room. Looking around Draco was marveled by the home. It had been a few years since he was last here. He didn't really appreciate the comfort of a home back then like he did now. This was a home.

To the living room on the left, a large couch called his name. Surely the professor did not need a couch this large. Did he even get visitors? Either way, it was comfortable after a long day. A left over Daily Profit sat abandoned on the coffee table.

"Charity Burbage- Hogwarts Muggle Teacher Resigns"

A brief scene began to unfold back in his mind: _his teacher floating above his table. "S-Severus, please. We're friends." _

Draco could only stare at her waving back at him on the front page. Draco almost lost himself in his dark thoughts but flipped her page over instead. _I just can't stomach this now,_ he thought to himself. He heard some glass jar clinks in the potions room in the back of the house.

Standing up again he found his way over to a bookshelf. Snape had won various potions awards, including a frame of his recognitions. At least he found a way to achieve something where as Draco had not a thing left. He was so distracted in fifth year he had barely achieved many O.W.L.S and had never completed his N.E.W.T.S. So in the end, he was not worth anything to a Wizarding world these days. Not to mention his reputation...

Below the shelf of achievements were a few books, most likely favorites. Draco's hand traced over the dusty backs and his fingertips found their way to a picture frame which lay face down in it's place. Lifting it up and bringing it closer to his face Draco almost laughed but couldn't find the strength inside himself. But in the picture was a tall and gangly, sallow face Severus Snape in his younger years, graduation gown on his frame and an older woman standing next to him, giving her son a kiss on his cheek as he blushed. _Snape's mother. _

Draco found himself staring at it for some time, wondering himself if any pictures were left at his home in plain sight. Their mansion had been so used and neglected over the last year, had he even noticed if some vanished?

"I see you helped yourself to my belongings."

Draco not even ashamed to be caught just looked up at his former teacher. "This is your mum?"

"Yes." Taking a closer look Snape almost smiled. _Almost._ "Yes my graduation. A very proud woman of her brilliant son."

Draco cast him a jokingly glance. Before setting the frame back he wiped dust from it's frame then nicely set it to show off the picture to the room. "Where is she now?"

"Suffolk."

Not needing to ask further details or appear nosy, Draco gave one last glance around before asking, "Are we finished?"

"Mmhm." The potions master eyed Draco invasively. From the years of knowing him he had always known Draco to love his own mother than anything else, except for winning of course. It could only make sense though, not particularly having a father who doted upon his own child and only expected perfection. His mother was likely the only one who had ever shown him affection which he could never give in return as a man of Malfoy did not show feelings.

Draco led the way to the front door already eager to get back home. He opened the door and stepped out into the pouring storm on top their heads. Severus cast another wave from his arm to shut the lights off and followed the young-man outside. A tap of his wand locked his door. "To the street corner to apparate."

They didn't need to be outside for more than a minute to be drenched. By the time they made it to the corner Draco's bright blonde hair stuck to his head and Snape's hair began to weigh down itself. Draco shivered waiting for the lead on apparation again.

A pull of the belly button and swirl of images.

Once back in the street of Draco's home he felt relieved, but not quite past the chill of being soaking wet. "Sorry, I didn't check the forecast before we left."

Draco tried to muster a smirk but put his efforts into finding his way inside his warm home. Walking up the gravel walkway and past the gate, he noticed shadows above him in a window center of the house. In a room above was a disturbing scenery of his father in one of his angry rages, shouting at his mother. _What now, _he immediately thought. Not only that but this home was supposed to be peaceful again. She needed that. His mother huddled her frame with her long arms, a sullen look on her face.

Severus who had also seen what Draco saw looked away and to the young-man who couldn't tear his eyes away. He looked so broken.

Draco hadn't noticed his actions of staring above to the top window, or that the man next to him saw the same thing.

"Draco, come inside before you catch your death out here."

Shaken by the abrupt realization he was being watched, Draco hunched his frame closer and continued to go inside. Hoping they put a silencing charm up this time he opened the front door.

Muffled sounds were heard above. He immediately thought of intervening or finding a way to dull their voices. He couldn't listen to this.

Severus who shut the door behind himself, saw the still broken look on his former student who only had eyes for the top of the staircase which lead to the shouting voices of his family. Letting out a soft sigh he thought of an idea. "Go change into some dry clothes and meet me in the cellar. I am not quite finished with your assistance yet." He held up a vile of ingredients to indicate he intended on potion brewing.

Draco nodded and took to the flight upstairs. It seemed each step upwards he was only approaching his demons inside his own home.

Turning to the right he could see his potions teacher still standing in the doorway below. He continued down to his room, though his room was next to his parents so the voices continue to grow louder and get more clear.

"Narcissa enough!" hissed Lucius.

"I am sorry Lucius but this had gone too far. Don't you think, no-, even dare for a moment to consider you are innocent in this. Don't you see what will become? We have nothing left!"

"You have no faith in me! In me! Your husband for Merlin's sake."

"How could I?! You got us into this mess and now I am to clean it up."

If Draco would of known his mother was about to step out of her room he would of bolted. As a young child he was never to involve himself in his parents fights and the rule still felt as if it carried now. And it was a rather heated discussion.

Narcissa stepped out of the room with her back first, shut the door behind her with her back still to her son. She covered her mouth with her free hand and shook her head slowly. Straightening up and brushing her face and hair back, she turned around and saw her son standing before her.

The ache in his heart he felt to see her swollen eyes.

"Draco, I am so sorry you had to hear that."

"Its alright."

She drew him into a hug and wrapped her hands around his head despite him being soaking wet. "Draco you are cold..."

"Mum, it's ok, please don't."

Though he couldn't see, she smiled behind his ear. He was just barely above her own height, but how he was still her baby while in her arms.

DMDMDMDM

This chapter is a bit shorter than I would usually intend but I would like to have some chapters available for readers since this story is just getting started.

I am writing this story without a Beta so please excuse any minor mistakes.

Now I am leaving little subtle hints as I go through this. Draco is definitely depressed but I don't want to put a name to his feelings. I could only imagine I would be as well, and lets admit it, Draco doesn't seem the type to consider his feelings and would likely push any hurtful feelings aside which are building up instead and manifesting which is why he is getting flashbacks. (He really is showing signs of PTSD.)

Now please leave reviews, please please. I need to know that people are liking this story as I have read mixed feelings about a Severus and Draco fanfiction. Some people find them dull because they are so similar in character so I'd like to keep it interesting but am also open to ideas.

Since this is my first story about them you could also include stuff that annoys you as fanfiction goes; regarding angst or anything else. Also, I want to know if him drinking (as in the previous chapter) was more annoying or seemed ok? Again he is not a drunk (ok maybe a teensy bit) but I think him drinking could be what he may resort to for ease of painful memories.


	3. Regrets

Regrets

Pulling open the door leading into the cellar, Draco went inside to see his potions master already at work. He didn't pay Draco any attention as he continued to powder an ingredient that was not visible behind his shoulders facing the table. A dim light hung over his head that left little light except for the work table. His tall broad form hid most of the light from Draco who approached making hardly a sound. Stepping into the light by the table Draco took notice to the rare ingredient of a unicorn horn.

"Woah, where did you manage to get that?" He asked in shock. A unicorn horn was an expensive ingredient. Snape had left some in stores at the Malfoy Manor but some of the death eaters that resided in the mansion decided to help themselves and sell them for whatever galleons they could get.

"Being a potions master _does_ have its benefits," He said as if this were obvious enough not to need to ask. He smirked at the younger man for a second before turning his attention back to the salve.

Surely he should of known Snape would have an in stock store at his own home. Draco eyed the other ingredients with interest. One of his favorite lessons had always been potions. Though he was practically spoiled in the class due to being in the same house as Professor Snape, he did in fact enjoy potions class because it came so natural. Had that Granger girl not been in his class he would of easily ranked higher than any other student.

"You can begin preparing those ingredients to make me murtlap of essence, an easier task." He indicated Draco to a piece of parchment with directions. Hardly needing to read the directions, Draco knew he was more than able to make the potion without issue.

By the time he was half way through preparing everything, the man before him had already begun stewing his own potion. Feeling incompetent for his own work to be taking so much longer Draco tried to speed up pace. If he were to go at this rate he would be here almost all night. _Though working around potions all day would make one a bit faster, _he justified to himself. Severus was stirring his potion which began to steam just enough to create a thin mist that carried above his tall form.

Focused on his work at hand, a memory which he had shut away found his way back into his mind. He recalled the time he had been forced to make this same potion not all too long ago. At the time it didn't take him as long as it did now.

"_Hurry Draco!" A woman hissed over his ear. _

_Brushing her away with his shoulder he continued to focus on stewing the potion. 'How dare he lay a hand on her, how could this happen again?' _

"_If you do not hurry-"_

"_Bellatrix I am aware." He calmed his voice. "Please, it is almost finished..." _

_Damn his aunt for not being making the damn potion herself. She wouldn't have lost so much blood then. He should have been there in place of her. _

_Their Dark Lord's temper was so short these days. In the beginning it was not this way. _

_Draco was not sure what happened to set him off this time. He had come home to find Bellatrix assisting his mother to cover her her wounds. Voldemort had cast a whipping curse to teach Narcissa a lesson. He only struck her once but his magic was strong and it made a deep gash in her arm. If it continued to bleed she could be at a loss for blood unless they could get her this potion in time. These were the times he consciously wished Potter would finish the job..._

_He knew Voldemort likely did not intend to kill his mother. Their service was still needed. He deep down thanked Snape for supplying a full potions lab for Draco to brew potions in an emergency, like now. Among other things Snape provided them with a bezoar soaked in phoenix tears. Though the only ones who knew of this were of course Snape, Draco and his parents. Severus had told them it would work to cure the venom and bite such as Nagini. A discovery Snape himself had thought of. _

"_Get a phial"_

_He hadn't noticed the one she already carried in her hands and grabbed it as soon as it came into his reach. She held bandages in the other hand. After pouring the contents into the phial they both headed in the direction of Narcissa._

_Down the hallway and into her room they rushed as quick as they could. Inside Narcissa and Lucius's room was a vast amount of blood already lost on the floor. 'Please do not let me be too late...' _

_Looking at a trail of blood and into the master bathroom was a bleeding Narcissa holding a bed sheet to her arm. She sat upon the floor next to the bathtub clutching her arm tightly, a shocked look upon her face as she met their eyes. No one said anything as the tall blonde knelt next to his own mother, his mouth slightly open in concentration, his brow forming with worry and sweat._

"_We need to be quick Draco, be ready to apply it," Bellatrix spoke. _

"_I am ready." _

"_Cissy this won't hurt, it will stop the bleeding." _

_Narcissa nodded, her eyes wide with fear. She would of normally contested to her son witnessing what she was about to show him, but left with no time to protest she made a deep swallow. Slowly she removed the blood-drenched sheet._

_Draco's eyes widened in horror at the sight. Not only was her arm sliced open but it went clear to her bone. Her flesh lay open in front of him and for a moment he forgot what he was doing. The wound began in the midst of her forearm and ended on her inner upper-arm. _

"_Draco!"_

_More blood had flowed freely. He came to his senses and applied the potion soaked bandage. _

_As quick as it was applied, beginning at the bone, the flesh came to join itself back together. As if each side of her muscle wall were a magnet, the sides became attached back together and lined up perfectly. Last her skin seemed to stitch itself in one whole piece again. _

_Letting out a sigh of relief, Bellatrix bent down and scooped her sister into her arms, her bushy hair flying around them. Though she was the Dark Lord's most loyal servant, she could still not ignore the horror of possibly loosing her pure-blood sister. _

_Draco's face was distorted with emotion. He didn't look at them but starred down at the floor under his knees. 'This time was so close...' _

"_Come Cissy, you need to get into bed, I will find a way to restore your blood but you need rest." She helped Narcissa up and over the pile of bloody sheet and floor. Draco who could not look at the blood found his way to his feet and into the room where his mother was being helped into a lying position on the bed. He stood in the doorway watching as Bellatrix folded the comforter over her sister and headed out of the room._

_Narcissa who lay flat on the bed kept her eyes shut. After a silent moment she spoke, "Draco, please... come over here." _

_Draco came next to his mothers side and sat upon the bed. "Mum, what happened?"_

_She gave a faint smile. "Don't worry yourself. It was nothing."_

"_Mum this isn't just nothing!" How could she just dismiss this? _

_She reached out and placed her hand upon his. "Where were you?"_

"_I was... in the muggle town..." _

_Neither said a word as she continued to keep her eyes closed. Draco looked into her eyes seeking the words he knew needed said. If his father wasn't going to be there for her then who else would keep her out of harms way? His eyes noticed a small slice remained on her cheek where the whip had glazed. Amongst her beauty it stood out. It served as encouragement for Draco to speak._

"_Mum, I've thought this through. You need to go." _

_She opened her eyes and gazed at him adoringly. "Draco, don't be silly." _

"_I am not being silly! This cannot happen again." His eyes grew large with anger, his gray eyes standing out against his pale skin. "You need to leave here. I will go myself and talk to the Order... I-I can find Weasley outside the Ministry, I only saw him not too many days ago while on a mission, it won't be hard. Mum they can help you!"_

"_Draco I cannot just leave. I am here to ser-"_

"_No!" He rose from the bed. "No. You don't understand. We are not going to make it out alive. He's going to kill us." His voice began to break. _

_Reality seemed to reach Narcissa. She shut off her act she always played in front of all the Death Eaters; that she, a perfect Death Eaters wife, was there to please the Dark Lord. Her face became sullen. A silence passed them for moments before she spoke up. "Draco, do you know why I stay?" _

_Draco who had refused to look at her until now slowly rose his face and met her eyes. He shook his head. _

"_Because I love you. If I were to leave then how could I protect you?" _

"_It's not me who needs the protection." _

"_No, it is you my love. You know as well as I that I cannot leave here."_

"_Yes you can! And you will!" Draco suddenly ran over to her dresser and began yanking the drawers open. "You- will – leave- NOW!" With each breath of air he had grabbed her clothes and began throwing them onto a nearby chair. Even though he had his wand in his pocket, he did this all by hand including dragging the large trunk out of the closet. "You are going! I don't care about me! I care about you! This is not how I want to live each day, do you think watching you suffer is ok? Do you?!" He stopped to look her in the eyes from across the room, tears threatening his wild eyes, the trunk fell open at his feet. _

_Narcissa who remained calm the whole time looked her wild dragon back in the eyes. "Come here-"_

"_No!"_

"_Yes," Her voice stern, "come over here." _

_Draco considered ignoring her until she held out a pale hand, her arm shaking from the loss of blood. _

_Draco reluctantly walked over to her side and sat on the bed again. She pulled her other arm out to embrace him in a hug. He leaned down and for the second time in his life began to sob out of fear for him and his mother. He cried like he had as a child when his father yelled too loudly or the howling of werewolves scared him at night. He cried like the time he thought he would lose her if he did not kill Dumbledore. He cried because he so badly hated this life. _

_She only hugged him tighter and did not say a word. How could she explain this to him? He was right and she knew it. If she were in her right mind she would take them both and go into hiding, but she knew they would be found. And surely killed. If she stayed here with him there was a chance, a small one, but a chance she could make the calls each day and make sure nothing happened to her son. Took weak to lift him back to look into his eyes, she instead spoke softly into his ear. "You keep me strong. I know you don't want to be here more than I but we are in this mess and you and I are in it together. I swear on my life, my life Draco, I will never, never let anything happen to you. You need to trust me. I have lived a long life and it would do me greater pain to leave you to suffer than to risk my life at his hands. If anything happened... with my last breath I would tell you I love you more than you'll ever realize." _

Cutting a piece of murtlap tentacle in half Draco suddenly winced as the dark mark on his arm seemed to come to life in an instant. He had dropped the knife without thinking and placed his right arm upon where the mark's scar remained hidden. He felt foolish to realize he made a scene of himself in front of Snape, but it really did hurt. It felt as though a hot iron knife came upon his arm and stabbed into his bone. Since the fall of Voldemort, his scar, along with his fathers, had faded to a silver mark leaving evidence of the past. Though it never truly went away, it did not carry the same look it once had.

Draco looked up to Severus who had only been watching the younger man from the instant he made a sudden commotion.

"Does it ever go away, the pain?"

"Guilt will make some wounds never truly fade away from our memories."

Not fully understanding the meaning to what Snape said, he rubbed his arm easing the last of the pain away. "Sorry, I just wish it would stop doing this. It's distracting." Frustrated, he snatched the knife back in his hand and went back to work. Pressing the blade a bit too firmly on an extra-full tentacle, a yellow fluid shot out and got Draco right in the face. He heard Severus let out a mild chuckle. Flinging the knife on the desk he used his arm to wipe his face clean with a sleeve.

Silence took the room again while both men continued work after the small distraction.

"Some things are difficult to forget. Some actions you have done, whether or not in your free will."

"I don't regret anything."

"A fool's wise words."

Draco glared at the man. _He was no fool. _He looked back to his task, more annoyed than before he started cutting the tentacles with a lighter force to avoid being squirted again. He knew that what he said wasn't true. He did in fact regret a lot of things he had done, both against his will and what he chose for himself.

"Everything I have done has led me somewhere. I don't consider my lack of regret as foolish."

"It is foolish to believe that one-self has done no wrong. To not regret is to ignore mistakes in which one could learn from, _that_ could only conclude one as ignorant. In 'layman's term'... a fool."

He always had some piece of damn advice whether or not Draco cared to listen to it.

Snape's potion was near finished so he pulled empty phials from his inner robe. "Surely, even you Draco, _must _regret something." He began to remove the corks from each and set them aside.

It was because of the flashback he just thought of, the very flashback that made him regret. He would never admit it to Snape though. Only his subconscious spoke of his regrets. It constantly saw to it he would never forget them either "I don't."

"So you choose to ignore that you could improve yourself? A Malfoy is perfect, is that still so?"

"Don't speak to me of my name! And what about you? What have you done to make you so aware of this regret you speak of?" sneered Draco.

Lip curling in a snarl, Snape cast an intense gaze upon Draco.

"I am no student of yours anymore- "_Professor"_. And I refuse to have this conversation with you."

"No, you are no student of mine but you still continue to lack an ability to learn after the walls of your precious school." He had finished sealing the potion into each phial. Severus knew very well of what Draco hid deep inside him. So many times over the last few years had he had a watchful eye on the boy. He had gone from a "snoody" Slytherin, to a creature who could hardly eat or sleep and soon began to shut the world out around him. Even with the fall of Voldemort, there would be no easy fix for him. His wounds extended deeper into the soul caused by the enemy himself who he was forced to love. If only the young man would open up...

Draco, the stubborn Malfoy, raised to project only perfection, could never accept help- to him it would be as if eating out of the palm of someone's hand. He had accepted help just once, for as much as he tried to deny Severus's help, it still came to him in the very end. The very moment he was supposed to grasp the glory back for his family name. It proved a point then, excepting help would not give him any gain. It only came back to haunt. And for that, he despised Severus.

The two had always been close. Since before Hogwarts. His father worked close to Snape after their years of both school and a career as a Death Eater. Snape had watched Draco grow before him, taking a role as a mentor to the man. He had always favored Draco, even sat up late nights and discussed many things. Only since he tried to push his way into helping assist Draco, had their relationship run cold. Snape was well aware that Draco resented him for stealing his moment- Draco saw it as Severus wanted to kill Dumbledore for his own personal gain. But little did he know the truth.

If Severus were to have this conversation with Draco that he in fact worked against the Death Eaters... he did not know.

DMDMDMDMDM

I want to say a special thank you to FatesPlaything who has been helping me edit my chapters, provide me with information and share new ideas. This is my first fanfiction and sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with some things I don't full understand but they have been able to help me keep my focus.

I left you guys with a little cliff-hanger that will play out in future events. If anyone has any questions I will be more than happy to answer any on the next chapter :)


	4. Desperation

Thank you for the reviews! I agree with what a poster said that when stories jump into being "mooshy" it does make characters (especially two heart-of-stone Slytherins ;p) seem very OOC. I plan to avoid this jump as much as possible. I don't predict this story being overly "mooshy" either. I predict a very firm friendship between the two and of course if you guys insist I can add some "moosh" ;)

Desperation

Later in the night, a Slytherin man sat alone in the spare bedroom of the Malfoy Manor. Offered to him during his stay, the room represented what the social status had been for the family. The room was lavishly furnished, included small statues for decoration in corners of the room, a seating area in front of a fireplace with a maroon rug underneath, and like all the rooms it also included a personal bathroom. The bed had a wooden canopy with dark curtains trailing down each post.

In his bathroom, Severus looked into the mirror at the man he almost didn't quite recognize. In just days he had appeared to lose weight and dark circles had formed under his eyes from lack of sleep. But despite those changes, he still felt relieved. He could relax and be his former self once more, before the return of Voldemort.

Pulling from his robes, two phials of the potions him and Draco had just made, he set them on the counter by the sink. On the counter were a pile of neatly set bandages that Narcissa had supplied him with. With the proper tools in hand, Severus was about to begin the tedious task of aiding to his wounds left as a reminder for what had been defeated.

In the moment after being bit by the poisonous snake, Snape truly felt his death was going to happen. Harry had shown up with both Granger and Weasley, and with only one option left to give Harry his memories, Severus let tears fall from his eyes knowing they would contain the information Harry needed to destroy Voldemort.

His body became paralyzed with Nagini's venom, leaving the appearance he had died. Though it wouldn't have been long for death to welcome him, hadn't Narcissa found him while looking for her son.

_In the time that he lay there, Severus began to accept that what he had done was in fact for the better of the world. No one wants to die, but if you cannot change it then you may as well welcome death and enjoy the time you have left. So he lay there, thinking mostly of Lily. He enjoyed reminiscing over their countless hours spent together when their friendship was strong. In fact, he welcomed death knowing he could possibly see her. If that were even possible... he did not know. But it left him hope. _

_Just as he felt the life begin to trickle from him, his savior came. He could hear her first, whispering her son's name in the boat-house. 'As if he would be hiding...' Severus actually thought to himself. How dare she ruin his moment- he was about to see Lily again. _

_Surprisingly, she slowly opened the boat-house door above his head. With a loud cry of shock, she sank to her knees, her pale blonde hair falling in front of her face as she knelt down to listen to his heart. _

_He could not see her, as his eyes were paralyzed to stare elsewhere in the boat-house, but he could feel her press her face to his chest while holding her own breath in her chest. _

_Waiting. _

_Had his heart beat stopped already?_

_Was he already dead?_

_There. Something._

"_Severus!" She forced his face to meet her eyes, her hand slipping from his neck from the wet blood. She seemed to just look beyond his eyes, trying to think of what she could do to save him before it was too late. She closed her eyes. _

_'Don't tell me she has placed stock in that muggle faith...' he sneered to himself. _

_Her eyes snapped open as a thought finally came. The bezoar! Of course! _

_In Snape's desperation to keep his friends safe and protect their son, he had discovered that a bezoar soaked in phoenix tears would counter poisons- including Nagini's. When he thought of it, it was purely intended for them. He knew it could only be time before Voldemort decided he was done with them. Snape only hoped if he did it would be in this manor, and they would have a chance to escape. _

"_Severus you are a brilliant man!" She breathed as fumbling for something in her coat. _

_'Ah, she remembered...' he would of smiled if he could. Cried with joy if his stone heart dismissed itself for once. _

_Shoving the soaked brown object into his paralyzed throat, Narcissa sat back with wide eyes, waiting for something. Anything. _

_It seemed to take forever..._

_...almost too long. _

_Then it happened. Severus began choking, the bezoar flew from his mouth. He inhaled as if it were his first breath of life all over again, hand clutching his bleeding throat. As he gagged for his return of air, his hand automatically reached for his wand, pulling it from his robes, and aimed it at his throat to stop the bleeding. _

_He could not reverse all the damage, Nagini's poison served her mark on the wounds. Her poison kept them freshly open and they would continue to ooze and and surely cause infection- a slow death if her victim escaped the poison. _

_He rolled over onto his elbow, regaining reality of what had just happened. _

_He was alive._

_And Lily was so far away again..._

A knock at his bedroom door shook his thoughts from the moment.

"Come in." Slowly his door opened and Narcissa squeezed her petite figure through a small opening she made in the door. "You are up late?"

"Yes, unfortunately I cannot seem to sleep tonight." She did not know he had also heard them argue. "Draco had said you made the potions you needed." She stepped closer to his bathroom, but leaving enough space to not intrude his privacy. "Would you like help?"

"Perhaps I could use you to apply these bandages after I add the potions."

"It's quite alright, if you just sit down, I will for you."

Choosing the edge of the tub so she could have better access to his neck, Snape sat down, also thankful he had showered before-hand. He didn't want to apply the bandages before making sure his neck was free of any dirt.

With her back to him at his sink, she laid out the bandages and applied the essence of murtlap. Once she had carefully added a liberal amount she came over to where he was sitting and began to touch the bandages to his skin.

Her touch was gentle, her finger tips seemed to barely press upon the open sores. She was so focused on her job at task she never let her eyes stray.

"How does it feel?" she asked just above a whisper.

"Not bad." The feeling was just above a minor sting. She continued to work around his neck, careful to not cause him any pain.

"Severus, I know this is not my place to intervene, but I can't help but feel I am loosing him."

Severus assumed that was why she came looking for him in the first place. "He does seem to have changed, though I can't help but imagine he would do so... under the circumstances." They both looked each other in the eye.

"I had no choice, Severus."

"No, you did not. And if you had chosen to have a choice you would all be dead."

She continued back to her task, lost in a thought before she said, "I sometimes wonder if that would have been better. It feels as if we had no pride."

"Yes, it seems that you were forced to take side with the snake knowing the consequence if you had chosen another side. Though, as wrong as it had to of felt to cast away from your pride...pride doesn't count for much if you are dead."

"But what if it were all for a waste? We robbed Draco of his own chance to let the world decide how it thinks of him. And Lucius..."

"The ministry will eventually come for him. They will send each Death Eater to Azkaban."

She nodded her head, sullen. "We have lost everything."

"You still have each other." He couldn't believe he was saying this, but to help his friend some words were needed to be said.

"Severus... they think you are dead. The Potter boy told the Daily Prophet he saw you die! They think your body was eaten by Nagini."

"Eaten by Nagini, during the war?"

"See... that is the where they are blind. _He _must of said so."

Potter, lie to the wizarding World that he had seen Nagini eat his body? It made sense though. Having a big heart and after watching Snape's memories, Harry found a way to keep Severus from the sure fate of being thrown in Azkaban. Even the memories wouldn't stand a chance in trial. He killed Dumbledore and that was the only was the Ministry would choose to see it as.

"You will not be looked for. You will be free"

_If you could consider "free" in a life of hiding... _

"You _must_ go into hiding Severus."

He pondered the idea. "I cannot do that. My life would be a wretched waste as a man with no purpose."

"Not to Draco." She looked him in the eyes. She had finished with the rest of his neck but still remained close. "Don't you see? They will come for me too. Draco will be saved, he was under our influence when he received the dark mark before he was of age. The ministry couldn't charge an innocent child."

"He will still stand in trial."

"Yes, but he won't- he just cant. I have thought this through, he will have no one. He wouldn't last out there- they would surely find a way to put him in a life of shame. Our Draco... I couldn't stomach thinking of it. That's why he needs _you_. I have asked you to look after him once before and you came true to your word that he would remain unharmed! I trust you..." Narcissa begged to Severus with her eyes pooling with unshed tears.

"I was under the unbreakable vow-"

"You would of done it rather or not that were the case, I know you would of! But you had to do it to prove to my sister that you could be trusted to the Dark Lord!"

_A mother's love._ Never once had she said she was scared to face a life in Azkaban- the worst place to exist. No, she was worried for her son's life after she was no longer there to help him.

Severus realized how desperate her words were. Her only child, her only son... the one love of her life- and she wanted Severus to protect him.

"You will be casting him into a life of hiding as well."

"Better alive with his own pride than left in a world who gives him reason for none."

Silence stretched between them.

"Severus, _please_... I am begging you."

He stood up and walked to the bedroom and cast a silencing charm around them when she came to follow. "Do you understand why I'd like to say no?"

"No. I do not."

"He will be cast out as a traitor if he were caught associated with a supposed dead death-eater! Surely there will be a sentence in Azkaban then! Possibly a cell left beside his beloved mother and father?" He stormed at her and turned away, furious she did not consider the consequences.

"You don't understand! He already refuses to live Severus! Truly _live_! I watch him and more and more each day I _hate_ myself for this life I have left to him. He would quiet literally be an outcast and would return home each day and sulk in this mansion. He would never find himself, which is why he needs you! You know as well as I do that he would not do well on his own with the memories he has-"

"Like his mother forcing him to torture her at the hands of the man you forced him to love? And you speak that you wish he had pride."

"I had no choice! And you saw for yourself, he couldn't do it!"

He remembered. The memory still pained him.

"It broke him Severus. All of this, _we_ broke him." She let the tears fall down her face.

He turned to look at her. "Where is Lucius?" _Obviously he must have a say..._

"You know how sick that bastard is." She spoke between gritted teeth, "He wishes Draco to go forth and say he _tried _to kill Dumbledore and that he served the Dark Lord willingly. He would rather forsake his own damn pride than save his own child!"

The fact didn't even surprise Severus. He had known his friend all too well from his early years at Hogwarts. The man treasured his own name as a man who never begged. A Malfoy never asked for anything.

"Please."

He stood before her, seriously considering her words this time. "I cannot promise him a life you wish him to have -full of happy endings and a perfect future."

She let her worst fears come as a reality and began to cry. Not a cry of loud sobs, but a sob where no sound escaped her lips as she covered her face.

"Narcissa, do not cry." He pulled the woman into a hug. "I will help him." Her shoulders continued to shudder. "I cannot promise you that he will have a life where no one considers him as part of the family who helped the Dark Lord, but I can give him company while he is here. I will mentor him to take the proper steps to make a change for those who wish to see. I will help rid the memories he tries to escape from." She nodded, her face in her hands upon his chest.

This was what mothers were meant to do in life- make sure above all else that their child came first. Upon a mother's realization of their own horrible future, they still thought only of their child's happiness.

SSSSSSSSSS

Hmm... any thoughts?

I would like to add that yes, Narcissa is a Death Eater in my story. She will go to trial bearing the mark.

And though I have been updating at a pretty quick rate I can't always promise things to go this fast. I just started my fall quarter and usually it will begin slow but the work will pile on.

Last, thank you so much to FatesPlaything for all her words of encouragement about my writing and story, as well as proof-reading. :)


	5. Slow Dance

The flashback in this chapter was inspired by my reviewer NimbusCentaur. I almost had a difficult with this scene because it shares the love between Narcissa and Lucius. Since I have been consistently writing them with tension or fighting I needed to find music to set the mood. If you want to hear a song that really helped me with this, listen to "Swing" by Blue October.

If my flashback scene does not show up with italics then that is a issue. I tried, over and over but it's not working. :/ You should be able to pick up though when the scene changes. Enjoy!

Slow Dance

Draco lay in his bed in the next morning, his room bearing the same cold frost as the morning prior. He woke slowly, enjoying the comfort of his silky sheets and thick pillows. Once again, the idea to lay there all day was all too tempting. Mornings gave him little reason to wake up and pursue the day.

The scent of bacon frying wafted up to his room, making his stomach rumble in hunger. The house elves probably had a lavish spread, waiting to be eaten in the dining room. Smelling the breakfast made him think of being on Holiday while away from the school. He and his parents would sit close around the big table and inquire all events Draco had encountered that year. He mostly told them of his high potions and transfiguration scores, as well as all quidditch games, wins or losses. His mother would dote upon his stories, often smiling towards him in-between her bites of eggs and toast. When she had finished eating, she would fold the napkin upon her plate and rest her head on her hands, waiting for anymore that her son could share. She absolutely enjoyed having him back in the home.

But with light there usually comes an opposing darkness.

Lucius would comment when the opportunity arose. The remarks usually consisting of, "I suppose you shall be the best of your year with out excuse," or, "You will do better when you return, I paid your way onto that quidditch field for a reason." His eyes cold, he would glance above the Daily Prophet, then immediately return to his half-reading, half-listening. He never once paid attention to the hurt he forced into his young child. It would of have meant the world to have been praised by him.

Draco opened his eyes when he could hear his mother's voice sound from below mentioning that she would wake him soon. He reluctantly pulled the sheets from himself and began the daily routine of dressing and preparing for the day.

He turned the faucet and let hot water fill the shower, steam rising and quickly smothering the mirror in condensation. Adding cool water to this mix before stepping in, Draco relaxed at the feeling of the drops coaxing his still-asleep muscles. He finished his shower by washing his short hair with a strong scented soap, preferred among the younger male wizards at Hogwarts.

Stepping out, he found a towel to wrap around his waist, goose-bumps forming as he made his way out of the comfort of the warm bathroom and back to his room. Deciding upon his wardrobe was a relatively simple task each day- wear the attire approved for a Malfoy in public. But they weren't going into public much these days anyways. He decided upon his regular black slacks but in place of his coat-attire, he chose a plain gray t-shirt with a v-neck. The shirt was fitted to his upper body, accentuating his well toned young form.

He usually never wore this sort of attire at home. To any wealthy wizard it symbolized a poor wizard-status, or one who chose rebellion and sought to disrespect wizard-made material. His mother did insist that he wear his regular attire in public as she agreed with her husband that their son needed to look best on their outings. Though with the way things were for their family, it would be a shock if his appearance startled either parent today.

After finishing the final touches of fixing his hair and brushing his teeth, Draco made his way from the room and down the stairs leading into the dining area where his former professor and parents both already sat. The flowers from the morning remained in their place, though Draco chased any dark memories of the room from his mind so they did not distract his inner peace.

"Oh good Draco, I was about to wake you." Narcissa said as he entered the room. She sat next to Severus on her left, while on her right at the head of the table was Lucius. An empty plate was across the table also placed next to his father. Draco sat down, his father and Severus both immersed in their section of the Daily Prophet. Draco noticed the fresh essence of Murtlap on Snape's neck from what the potions they had made the night before.

On the backside of Severus's paper was a picture of both Weasley parents, arms around each others waist. Next to them stood George, who for the first time in his life, had a sadness which spread across his face and demeanor. From the headline above the paper it read; "Funeral for a son of War". As far as Draco knew, most of the funerals had taken place in the last day and would continue for the next couple until every last person was paid their respects. Each of the people lost while fighting for freedom were given a lavish funeral to show appreciation for their sacrifice.

Draco focused back on eating breakfast in silence with his family. Cooked eggs, toast, hash-browns and slices of bacon took majority of the white glass-ware. Picking up the pure-silver utensils at each side of the plate he worked on eating the meal. No one spoke a word as each consumed their meal and read the latest news.

A small section of Lucius's paper was discarded on the table. Draco scooted it towards him and turned it towards himself to read. In prospect of intensifying muggle-wizard relations, a new section of Muggle World News was part of an edition for the paper. Though the muggle paper did not share the idea- they still resisted knowledge of the Wizard community.

Unlike the Daily Prophet, the pictures in the muggle-paper stayed in their frames and did not show the personality of the witch or wizard. To a wizard accustom to the regular paper they received, this seemed pretty boring and put perspective on how dull the muggle's lives were.

Lucius had finished his paper and tossed it down by his finished plate. "Avery has turned himself in," His eyes met the two sitting next to him who took notice of his worried expression. "It won't be long..." He looked over to his son who was now emerged in reading about declining ocean life concerning muggles for the outcome of the ecosystem. Lucius sneered, "I can't possibly believe the Prophet has stumbled so low for such nonsense." He waved a hand towards the paper, "Muggle News."

"It's not half bad. It's rather informative. They predict within the next forty to fifty years the ocean-"

"It's all a bunch of speculation. These muggles think they know everything."

He ignored his father and continued reading the segment.

"Well, seeing as you wear their clothes.. you may fit right in."

Draco looked to his left at the man and considered the alternatives. He knew well enough that to make a testament back would go nowhere. His father was looking for an argument, obviously bent about his former friends turning themselves in for a sentence in Azkaban.

Draco finished the majority of his meal and stood up to leave. He didn't have any other plans for the day, but leaving to do nothing was better than sitting here and waiting for an eruption caused by the next thing his father disapproved of. He folded the paper neatly and left to the sitting area in front of the fireplace.

The flicker of the flames warmed his body as he sat on a love-seat chair. Next to the seat was a end-table with a picture frame of his mother and father in their earlier years. To be specific, Narcissa in the picture was just noticeably pregnant in her cocktail dress. They swung slowly to a dance in the center of a wide hall, both concentrated on the warmth in each others eyes.

_Lucius closed his broad shoulders around the frame of his beautiful wife. For the ball they attended tonight, she wore a strapless green dress that almost touched the floor with it's silk. Where the dress cut off below her shoulders, a ribbon of diamonds went around her whole body. In the front between her breasts, the diamonds dipped to form a snake head, snake eyes a bright emerald green. Bringing a hand further down, Lucius placed his hand upon the side of her stomach where their baby grew inside her womb._

_At the touch, her eyes met his and she smiled. He pulled her in close. The ball they were gathered at was for the Death Eaters, a celebration for their accomplishments. Many of those accomplishments were in thanks to the group, but of some of the most loyal was Lucius. His face showed little wear to his features and he was not shy of smiling this night._

_A man came around with a camera strapped around his neck. "Mr. Malfoy, would you and your lady like a complimentary picture to treasure this evening?"_

_She smiled and looked up to her husband, "Why yes we would. How about it, love?"_

_He nodded and looked down into her beautiful eyes. The photographer snapped the picture before nodding and informing them it would arrive by owl in the morning. She thanked him before returning her attention back to dancing._

_At the front of the room sat a table with onlookers enjoying the company. In center sat the leader of them all, Voldemort, upon a chair suited for a king. He looked joyous and happy for the turn-out he had planned spur of the moment. Next to him sat Avery, Crabbe and some others who decided to watch the dancers. Severus was late, or else he would have been seated among them as he never enjoyed dancing._

_Dancing next to them, Rodolphus and Bellatrix were enjoying their own ball style dance, her_

_black gown flowing all over the room as magic projected wisps of swirling black smoke with each sudden movement of it's material._

_Both sisters smiled at each other before turning their attention back to their soul-mates._

_"I'm glad to see they are enjoying their time," Narcissa said looking back up to her husband, who's adoring gaze was for her alone._

_"Not as much as we are, my love." He swung her into his extended arm and ducked her low to steal a kiss before bringing her back up into his protective embrace._

_She laughed, brushing a stray hair from her face. This had been one of the best nights between the two for as long as she could remember. They had been happily married but with the time Lucius invested into The Dark Lord, he had little time to spend with her._

_"It's so nice spending time with you. I have missed you being home." she said as they slowed their dance to rocking back and forth._

_"There will be more of 'us' soon. The Dark Lord has received news though, and alas I imagine I will be working even more time now."_

_"What's the news dear?"_

_He leaned in close to her ear. "I was not going to tell you, to be honest, but I think it's best you heard it directly from me."_

_Her lips thinned preparing to hear the top-secret news that he was afraid for her to know of._

_"Severus over-heard a prophecy and it regards the future of The Dark Lord. A plan to act upon what he heard has been set in motion." He paused, not sure how to tell the rest._

_She waited, but pushed him on. "What did he hear?"_

_"The Prophecy he heard regards a child born in July. The child holds the power to thoroughly defeat The Dark Lord."_

_She waited for him to finish but he did not. Her heart filled with sympathy towards what was going to happen. She knew she did not need to ask for him to explain further. If Voldemort thought for a moment his life was at risk he would take the actions to vanquish that fear. She also was thankful their baby would be due the month prior. Her Draco hadn't been so far off from having the same fate..._

_"What will happen to the child?"_

_"I'm afraid he will be killed shortly after his birth."_

_She instantly thought of her child. She also felt sorry for the mother and father of the baby whose fate had already been decided._

_Knowing that what he said had upset his pregnant wife, Lucius lifted her chin to meet his eyes. "This is for a better world. You agreed to see this through until the end. Just remember we are doing this to make a better life for our own son-"_

_"Draco."_

_"Draco?"_

_"Yes, I wanted to tell you later, but oh well. I think Draco will be his name."_

_Lucius pondered it for a moment. "Draco is Latin for Dragon. Hmm. You picked a suitable name for my first son." He smiled down at her before leaning his head down to press a kiss upon her soft lips._

By the time Draco had finished reading he felt as if he had just taken a class in Muggle Studies. He leaned back to ponder some of what he read. In Hogwarts, lessons revolved around the Wizarding World. He was not ever aware of the issues that they faced. For Wizarding families it was left up to the parents to educate their children about muggle life. Even learning about common animals or ecosystems was left for parents to teach. Hogwarts educated only about magical creatures.

It seemed as if there were so much he didn't know. He was sure his libraries at home wouldn't contain what he wished to know, and he wasn't sure about going into a muggle library. He would have to wait until tomorrow's Daily Prophet before reading anything new...

Severus came into the front room carrying two cups of coffee. He handed one to Draco and sat down in a chair also in front of the fire.

"Thank you," Draco said as he into the flames.

"Your mother asked me to bring you some in hopes you will find your way around the house today... in higher spirits."

He barely nodded, glancing at the man. "I don't understand my father's mood about Avery turning himself in. It's going to happen anyways."

"Ah, well you would understand had you read the Prophet this last week." He glanced down at the paper Draco had cast aside. "Not particularly speaking about the 'Muggle edition'."

"No I haven't been reading more than this. What about it though?"

He took a sip of his hot drink. "Your father is angered by Avery turning himself in because Kingsley Shacklebolt- a fair man, has come up with a deal to make it easy for the Aurors. The deal would include that any Death Eater who turns himself in will get a lighter sentence-"

"They expect us to turn ourselves-"

"I wasn't finished, Draco." Snape took a drink of his coffee, he seemed to savor the flavor before finishing. "If a Death Eater turns himself in and gives up the location of other Death

Eaters in hiding, well then they will get a lighter conviction, plus a reduced sentence."

Both men sat in silence for some time. Draco was contemplating the option he had at hand. Though he never knew where the other Death Eaters lived since they all came to his home, he still had an option of receiving a lighter sentence. As did both his mother and father, except they surely knew the whereabouts of other Death Eaters. They could have a reduced sentence...

"So will they be turning themselves in then?"

"That, I do not know. But you must understand the pressure that puts on one to do so who has always considered himself faithful to the Dark Lord."

"What about you then?"

"Possibly. I can't see myself living in hiding forever."

"Why face time in Azkaban when you could live freely?"

"It is not honest, Draco."

Draco scoffed, "Honest? When did that become important to you?"

"It would not be honest to myself. Could you imagine living as a man in hiding, when the world thought you dead? A life spent indoors going from one location to the next, never feeling at ease in the comforts of my own home? And even at that, if you were to be discovered then you would be thrown in Azkaban immediately. Surely we had the discussion of foolishness just last night-"

"Ok, ok," Draco said as he cast a glare at the man. "I get it, I was under the impression that was your plan since you were here."

"That plan was always temporary."

Draco nodded, just glad to have his former Professor's mood back to normal. "I think I will."

"What? Turn yourself in?"

"Yeah."

"Your sentence will hardly be anything to worry about. I imagine with having Shacklebolt in charge he will do all he can to make yours light, if that at all."

Draco didn't say anything as he starred back into the flames. His stomach turned with apprehension at the idea of upcoming events. He didn't want to get his hopes up about a possible lighter sentence, or that his father would turn his fellow colleagues in. He suspected his mother would hardly get a sentence either- she never committed violent crimes such as the other Death Eaters. A long time stretched without either talking, both lost in their thoughts.

Snape broke the silence first. "Perhaps... I could share defensive spells with you."

Draco let out a small smile. "Thanks but I think I have gotten myself into enough trouble with magic."

Severus chuckled. Draco was interested though. Learning something new beat sitting around the manor all day.

"There are dark spells that could assist you in life. If I were to have my own child I would teach him or her these spells. Though even knowledge of these spells requires respect. I predict you recall the spell Potter used against you in sixth year?"

Draco remembered of course, but the exact spell Potter had said he could not recall. At the time of the spell hitting him he had felt as if someone had cut him open, which was in general how the spell worked. He typically didn't like to think of it or the situation. "What of it?"

The man took a sip of his drink and set the cup back in his hands. "There are some dark spells that one would advise against sharing. I trust though that you would have no intentions of using spells in an ill manor, so I can see no harm."

Draco shook his head. No, he was done with hurting others. He had witnessed enough and committed enough atrocities with these spells to make himself sick.

"Good. Now, finish your drink and we will begin."


	6. Lessons in the Dark Art

Lessons in the Dark Art

Lessons had finished between Draco and Severus. Their sessions were brief, serving as an introduction to some of the darker magic not taught at Hogwarts. They held their lessons in the utmost level of the house in the large attic. The loft was devoid of any signs of life, and though it was the same temperature in there as the rest of the manor, it felt colder than the fall weather outside. Since the attic was seldom used except for storage, it's walls and floor held a thick dust. Sometimes Draco had gone up to the attic to retreat into his mind, otherwise the attic was never used.

Severus shot an example of dark magic, towards Draco, it repelling against his shield that had been placed around the younger man. The red-snake like demon tried to snap his teeth into Draco multiple times before it's maker cast it away.

The next spell aimed at Draco ricocheted off his shield and pounded the walls around them, causing some of the dust to loosen and float into the air.

After more spells were traded, the air was thick with the dirty air. Severus waved his arm with his wand hand and the dust was instantly filtered from the air.

"Will I get to perform some spells now?"

"Not yet. I need to have your word before I teach you any more, that this type of magic will never-ever be used unless absolutely necessary."

"Yes, I promise."

"Good. Our lessons will continue each day of the week and last an hour. They will take place after supper."

Draco nodded, accepting he would have to wait to try some of the spells.

Their lessons ended for the day and each retreated their own ways. Before Draco left, Severus instructed him to go to their library and gave him a list of books for Draco to pick out.

It didn't take Draco long to find a book suitable for the instructions. The book, "History of Dark Spells, Edition 13" was on the first shelf he looked through, its blank binding hardly wore tear hinting it was seldom used. He thumbed through the pages before flipping the book under his arm and deciding his room would be a good place to start. Severus wanted him to have a full grasp on dark magic and said it would be good to have a general knowledge to fully respect it's capabilities.

He made his way up the main entrance hall steps and for a moment thought he saw a flash of something that startled him. He stopped and rest his hand upon the railing to steady himself because he thought he would faint. Draco placed his face in his fingers and messaged his temples...

_He saw Bellatrix fly across the hallway, a spell banged her body several times against the floor, tossing her like a hairy rag doll. The last time her body flew in the air, it was aimed towards a large window pane. She flew through the glass with ease, it's shattering splintering the ears of Draco below. It wasn't long before her body flew back through the same window and was tossed down the large stone steps. Her body tumbled down the stairs until she flopped, unconscious, at Draco's feet. _

_His eyes darted back to the top where Voldemort came at the top of the stares looking down upon him. "Draco..."_

_He was too frightened to even speak back. He had heard yelling from the room above and knew Voldemort was on a rage._

"_Do you not wish to address your master?" _

"_N-n-no, my Lord.."_

_He began a slow descent down the steps. "What troubles you Draco? Does it bother you to see your aunt belittled in such a way?"_

_Draco looked down upon her body. A few glass shards lay scattered around her face. _

_Voldemort had reached the landing below and stepped around Bellatrix's body. "She deserved it, you know."_

_Draco nodded._

"_I see what troubles you." Draco refused to look at him, avoiding the snake-like gaze trying to read into his soul. He tried with all his might to strengthen his Occlumency shields. "Your young mind reveals so much... anguish. Pain. Regret." _

_Draco looked over to the monster, afraid he had seen too much. "How touching. Your love for you family is so strong, you would be willing to do anything to save them. Is this so?" _

_Fear begun to shape in the young man's heart. He knew all too well that if Voldemort could punish them, he would. And he loved to play games._

"_You have one hour. One hour to go to that muggle town not too far. Yes, I sense you will find .. hmm... yes, perfect- a muggle child. He lays in the tunnel at the park for he has run away from home unnoticed. He has a small stuffed toy. You must bring that to me when you kill him, or your father will die." _

_Draco's eyes grew large with unsurpassed fear. _

"_Your father will be returning home in two hours time. Go now."_

The next thing Draco knew the book he had been holding was steps below him, it's pages wide open. He was leaning against the stairs, his body pressed upon the steps. When he came to, he curled his knees against his chest and let out a moan. '_Please no.._.'

"Draco!"

The sound of heeled shoes running down the steps, sounded from somewhere in front of him. Her voice came from next to his head and he felt her hands press upon his face while his eyes stayed squinted shut.

"Shh... it's not real," she whispered, brushing his cheek.

He wanted to believe her. So badly he wanted to know that it wasn't real. Sometimes when he had a flashback and opened his eyes he would only go back into another memory. He felt her cold fingers against his cheek again, and knew he had to try.

His eyes jerked open,glazed over in fear and full of partially shed tears.

Instantly, an exasperated sigh left his lips. He moved into a sitting position on the stairs and put his head into his hands."It's getting bad again." The only person he ever felt comfortable with confessing what he saw was to his mother. She never judged him, but listened without calling him 'crazy'- exactly how he felt these days. "I keep seeing them..."

Folding her dress underneath her bottom, she sat close to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to pull their bodies closer. They stayed like this for many minutes before she noticed the book below his feet and reached to pick it up.

"I heard that Severus has taken to teaching you. I think that's a wonderful idea."

He nodded halfheartedly."He is teaching me more spells. I probably will never use them, but it feels nice to learn again."

She flipped through some of the pages and then handed the book to her son. "Perhaps... he could help you learn to shut them out."

"I can't tell him. "

"Why not? He knows so much. If he couldn't help you it could still help you to have someone understand what you are going-"

"I just can't. You know I have a hard enough time re-living it all again. If I were to tell him-anyone, it would just make it worse."

"It would only make it worse because you pretend they aren't _real_."

They looked at each other before he dropped his gaze.

"Tell me you will try to let him in. If not him, someone."

He looked back at her. "Wh-Why do you insist...?"

She fumbled with her dress smoothing out the imaginary wrinkles. "Draco..."

He cut her short. "You're thinking of turning yourself in."

She didn't say anything, though she didn't need to.

He suddenly grew hostile. "Why didn't you leave back then? I told you over and over to go be free!"

She merely shook her head, her face with pity. "You still don't understand. Do you, my dragon?"

He didn't understand, but looked at her with his steely gray eyes.

"I don't care about my freedom. What meant most to me was being close to you and your father. If this is the price I pay for being there when I was most needed, then I will accept my fate without regret." She touched his chin with her fingertips. "It's not the beginning or the end that matters. It's the in-between that we remember the most."

She smiled at him kindly, released his chin and stood up. "I am going to bed now, but if you ever feel you can't escape them and I'm not around, he will surely listen and help you."

Draco nodded. "Goodnight, mum."

"Goodnight, my love."

He waited until he heard her bedroom door shut. Draco stood up with the book in his hand and continued his venture back to his room.

By the time he had arrived he was incredibly exhausted. A dull headache began to form behind his eyes. Abandoning his original intentions of reading, he tossed the book upon his nightstand and stripped himself of his clothes. He slipped into a pair of pajama pants and a silk night shirt.

The last thing he was aware of was flicking his wand to put-out the candles and laying his head against the pillows. He instantly drifted off into sleep- that had he known would consist of his corrupted past- he would of stayed awake for days instead. But if there was one thing Draco was beginning to learn, was that life was never fair, and it sought to haunt him whenever the chance came.


	7. Weaknesses

Weaknesses

_A bitter cold stung at Draco's uncovered skin. Only wearing a long sleeved black button-up shirt __and dark slacks__, he lifted his hands to warm them with his breath. Though he was not sure where the muggle park was precisely, he had__ a general i__dea. _

_One hour. It never stopped ringing through his head. _

_He knew he had spent about 10 minutes already since he apparated into the town looking for the park. Luckily, the town was small__enough to easily navigate__. A little community nestled away__from the abundance of crime and__ annoyances of city life. _

_After walking for another couple minutes, he had found it. The park's grass had a thin fog which floated inches above it's surface. Many trees hid his form as it walked through the darkness. He had never felt his heart beat so loudly before. He was no killer, but he couldn't see a way out of this... _

_After many minutes of walking in darkness, he spotted a swing ahead. Just beyond the swing lay toys __and evidence of where a muggle child had apparentl__y slept. 'Please be gone...' _

_As __silently as he could, he came up to where the toys lay and walked up the small steps made for children. Voldemort was right. There was a sleeping figure in the tunnel of the playground. With the street lamps obscuring his view, he could only make out the shadow of a small body covered in an overlarge coat. _

_He stopped at the top of the steps and stared down at the sleeping form in the tunnel. He could only see the dark silhouette of their feet sticking out, but it made no difference, he didn't wa__nt to linger any longer than necessary to get the job done._

_His wand pressed against the outside of his leg, as if beckoning him to do it now and get it over with. A shaking hand moved to where his heartbeat grew louder. He paused with his hand upon his heart, trying desperately to calm it, but to no avail. Startled, he drew his wand - whether the sudden loud thump of his heart beating against his ribcage scared him or his nerves shook too strong- he never had a chance to analyze. His wand fell from his outstretched hand and clattered noisily on the steps below. Bright blue sparks shot out with each resounding clack of wood on metal, before the wand finally rested a few steps below him. _

_Draco cursed in his mind and as quietly as he could went to retreat the traitor__ous__ wand. His hand didn't make it much more than an inch up from the ground when he heard the rustling of fabric. The child was beginning to stir. _

"_Is that you, Papa?" _

_He crouched low to the steps hoping they would not see him. Though, his blonde hair betrayed him in the moonlight and shone for the child to see._

"_You're not Papa. Did you come to play?" _

_Draco hated himself. Literally hated every ounce of his being. Cursed Voldemort even. He was no killer, but he had no other option or his father would die. _

"_Yes. Go back to sleep. I will be quiet, I promise." _

_The child remained in the tunnel. "It's ok. It's too cold for me to sleep tonight anyways." _

_He went up the stairs and onto the landing. He couldn't look at the innocent victim. If he familiarized with 'it', he could never get the job done. He could sense the child staring at him. He feared- and half wished- the child could see into his soul and read his intentions- hear his heart beating loudly in fear and apprehension. _

"_Why do you not have a coat on?"_

_He shivered in the dark. He had not brought one because he had no time. _

"_I- I forgot it."_

"_Oh. You can have mine if you want. I am all warmed up." Before he had a chance to decline the offer, she stepped out of the tunnel, her curly dishwater blonde hair tussled in front of her face before she could stand. _

_He forgot in the moment of what she was doing, as he now saw her face. He could make it easy, do it now before she looked him in the eyes. _

_She began to unzip the jacket which even in the dim moonlight he could see was a sparkly pink. "No, no I'm ok."_

"_Are you sure? It's really warm."_

_He waved his hand, refusing to look at her. "Thank you." He knew he should just do it now and get it over with. He tried to justify it with himself that she was out in the cold and miserable. He could ease her sufferings... _

"_My Papa said he will come back soon."_

"_Why did he leave you-" 'Fuck... not supposed to familiariz__e myself with my soon to be victim.__' _

"_He didn't leave me. I come to visit him here. My grand-mum tells me I can't see him unless it's on a special day where he is allowed to see me ... she doesn't like him. But I don't mind, he is nice to me."_

"_He couldn't be if he made you sit out here in the cold waiting." 'Damn!' _

"_It's ok. I don't mind." _

_Draco shuffled his feet and leaned against the protective railing on the side of the structure. He had already wasted another 15 minutes... 35 left to go. _

"_Where are your mummy and daddy?"_

"_Um... they are at home." _

"_Didn't they want to come play with you too? It's really late out you know."_

"_I suppose I could ask you the same thing. You shouldn't be out here this late, what if something happened to you?" _

"_It's ok. I know nothing will happen to me. My mummy's an angel."_

"_A-A wh-what?" 'What nonsense is she blabbering on about?'_

"_An angel. Up in Heaven." She pointed up to the sky. "Don't you know what Heaven is?"_

"_No. I don't." _

"_It's where all the mummys and daddys, and boys and girls, and grand-mums and grand-papas, and uncles and aunties, and teachers and kitties and doggies and unicorn-"_

"_Alright I get it!" _

_She giggled. "That's where they go when they die."_

_'Oh.' _

_He slowly turned his head towards her. Her lips shone bright red in the night. Her big eyes looked at him, half with curiosity, half amusement. She was very cute for a muggle- 'Damn Merlin!'_

"_He hasn't come back in a while though. I think the day he will come is soon. It has to be."_

"_What do you mean?" _

"_My Papa. He has not come back for months."_

"_Then why do you insist on returning to this place each night?"_

"_Because I know he loves me. He just forgets to show it sometimes." _

_30 minutes... _

_Draco slid down to a sitting position on the structure. It would help his focus if he could warm himself up..._

"_What was that bright sparkly thing you had? It was really pretty."_

"_There wasn't anything. You imagined it."_

"_I did not!" She pouted her lip at him. "You just didn't see it." _

"_I guess not." He shivered. 'Damn, this doesn't need to take so long.' _

"_Oh well." She sat in a criss-cross sitting position, apparently expecting to have more conversation with Draco. _

"_Wh__y hasn't anyone found you here yet? Don't your caretakers realize it that you're gone?"_

"_Well... the medicine she takes at night makes her sleepy. I come back home in the morning though. Then she wakes me up and cooks me breakfast and I go onto the bus for school- except on weekends." _

_To Draco that seemed absolutely absurd that the little girl was in care with someone who didn't even pay attention to her whereabouts at night. "So you live with your grand-mum and not your father and she doesn't even know you go out each night?" _

"_I guess so..." _

"_Why can't you stay with your father?"_

"_Because he used to be an awkowhowlic-"_

"_Alcoholic."_

"_Yeah. He used to be that and he got told he couldn't keep me. But he has gotten better but Grand-mum says I have to stay with her. We went and talked to some scary men in a large room where they asked me what I wanted. I told them I wanted to be with Papa but they said no." _

"_You went to court?"_

"_I think so. Grand-mum said I saw a judge."_

"_That's court then." _

_Silence seemed to stretch between the two. She began to shiver. Draco was tempted to not care and hoped she shivered enough that she would decide to go home. He knew his time was running out. He figured she could at least be in peace before he took her life away. When she wasn't looking at him, he reached into his back pocket where his wand was hidden and pointed it towards her before using an non-verbal warming-charm. She immediately began to relax, and even then began to look tired. _

_She yawned, and then reached back into the tunnel and pulled out a sort of mangled plush looking pillow. Except this pillow had legs, a tail and a head. _

"_Want to meet Puppy?" _

"_Eh- sure?" To be honest, he was scared to touch it. It looked as if it hadn't been washed- ever. _

"_He loves to cuddle with me when I am sleeping. My mommy gave him to me right before she went to Heaven. She said that no matter what he will tell mommy each day how I am doing. He whispers up to her in Heaven and she tells him stuff too. Then he makes sure I am ok everyday." _

_Draco looked at the little plush toy. That was the thing Voldemort was talking about. He felt sick at the thought and looked away. _

_Twenty minutes... _

_She yawned and stood up. "I don't think he is coming tonight." _

"_Yeah, probably not." _

_Draco knew he didn't have time and each time she talked it made it harder on him. 'She's just a bloody muggle, she is worthless.' _

"_Look, you can't keep coming here. He's not going to come in the middle of the night. You are being an extremely careless muggle." _

_She snapped her head towards him. "That's not nice to say!"_

"_What? A muggle? It's true!"_

"_That my Papa won't come here. He will and I know it. Puppy told me so-"_

"_Your damn dog lied to you, you stupid muggle!" By this time Draco snapped. He knew from the beginning he couldn't do this, but he had no other option but to try. _

_Wand already in hand he first cast 'silencio' so the girl's shout would not be heard. She backed away out of instinct, a look of confusion stretching across her innocent face._

_Pointing his wand at the stuffed animal, he used a simple transfiguration spell. The little dog flopped on the ground__ before transforming into a bright orange snake. The snake reared up and hissed at the girl who was just a few feet away. _

"_Go you silly girl! Run! You cannot come back here ever again or the snake will bite you!" _

_A muffled scream seemed to try and erupt from her useless voice, but she listened to Draco and took off down the steps and ran- fast- into the darkness. _

_Draco began panting, furious with himself. He failed. He had failed yet again. If he came back home with just a stuffed animal than surely Voldemort would suspect he had just taken it. Stealing the toy would have been easy. _

_No, he had to try harder. He turned the snake back into the stuffed toy and took off running down the steps. _

_15 minutes..._

_He had to try, and if he failed then he did not know..._

_Draco ran faster __than he could ever remember, __his heart beating in his chest. Each breath of cold air he took stung his lungs and his ears ached from the cold. _

_But he ran. He ran until he was in the alley of the bar he was accustom to drinking at. No one here. _

_He ran to the next alley, and the next. There._

_An old homeless man slowly trudged his way down the alley. _

"_Stupefy." The blue light shot out and struck the man in the back. He fell to the ground with a soft thud, completely unaware anything had e__ven happened._

_Draco ran over to the unconscious man and flipped him onto his back._

"_I'm sorry," he whispered. He raised his right fist into the air and aimed for the old mans nose. He punched him. Hard. _

_Then again. And again. _

_He punched him until the man's nose bled freely with blood. Muggle blood. _

_Against any will of his own, Draco tried to gather the blood and smear it over himself. It was disgusting. Repulsive even. But he had to do it, and this way Voldemort could smell the muggle filth. _

_He did this until he had enough to cover what he felt would be convincing. Draco stood up, cast one look back down to the homeless man, and with a bloody hand and bruised knuckles, bent down to retrieve the girls stuffed animal. _

_On the spot he apparated back into the mansion, and with all his might that he could muster, he incre__ased his concentration on keeping up his occlumency shields. _

_He had apparated right into the room of Voldemort himself. There next to him was Avery, Crabbe, Severus and Bellatrix. Bellatrix actually appeared normal, as if she had not been tortured earlier. _

_As soon as each had looked at him, Voldemort let out a loud laugh. "Very good! Draco, I am impressed." He walked over to Draco, his robes slithering behind him. Voldemort reached down and grabbed the stuffed toy. "Yes, very well. And you even cast the very blood onto the wretched Earth. Tell us, how did you do it?" _

"_I used my hands."_

_Voldemort smiled at Drac__o and then reached out and grasped Draco's hand in his own. Draco for a minute thought his hand was going to be bitten as it neared closer to the mouth of Voldemort, but no- the monster licked it. _

"_Yes, muggle blood." He spat upon the floor. "Very well done, Draco. You may go and wash that filth from yourself." _

_He refused to let his relief show. He nodded numbly and glanced at the other members in the room. His eyes landed on Severus's blank stare for a moment longer than the rest. Was it despair that he saw flicker in the older man's eyes? _

_He turned away and began to walk from the room. _

"_Not yet." _

_He turned to the voice that made him shiver. _

"_Don't forget you__r souvenir." The Dark Lord held out the stuffed animal for Draco to take. 'Puppy' was covered in blood. He reached out his hand to take the dog, but Voldemort had other plans._

"_For you taking so long... Crucio." _

Draco shot up in his bed. The pain he had felt in his memory was almost real, so close to his soul. He gasped, grabbing onto his hair and pulling on it until his scalp ached. His bed was covered in sweat, his clothes soaked in it.

Draco leaned down into a crouch on his bed, he began to shake out of fear and for the memory of that night. He still remained innocent from murder, but just the pressure alone killed him.

Pulling his knees to his chest, he let his face began to break with the pain and grief of that night. Rocking back and forth to try and console himself, yet he felt no relief. Flashes of the stuffed dog flashed into his mind. He saw the girl's terrified look of betrayal. He saw the blood on his fists...

Thrashing until he could throw the sheets from himself, Draco jumped out of bed and threw himself onto the floor. He reached under the bed and pulled out a small wooden chest where his personal possessions remained. Flinging the lid open, he stared down at the blood stained stuffed toy that lay on top of everything else.

Without thinking he picked the toy up and clutched it tightly to his chest. "I'm so sorry..." he choked on the last word as he sobbed. He hated what he had done to that little girl. In her eyes, her one connection left to her mother was that toy. She hoped each day that she would see her father. Draco had crushed her inner peace. He had chased her from the park turning her prized possession into a ruthless snake.

And he had beat an old man until his blood flowed freely onto the ground below.

No, Draco was not innocent. And he hated himself for it.

DMDMDMDMDMDM

In case you didn't pick it up, her "Papa" has visitation days and she is too young to realize it.

Draco also did the girl a sneaky favor. He truly did feel concern for her coming alone to a park each night and understood that as a child she did not rationalize how the adult world worked concerning visitation days. When he told her if she came back the snake would bite her, he did so knowing she would be too frightened to return alone at night. Awww!

Last, I need to give FatesPlaything for helping me through this chapter! She has added parts onto my story that have really enhanced it, as well as spent days emailing me helping form ideas for future events (yes, we have exciting things planned!).


	8. Sanctimonia Vincet Semper

Sanctimonia Vincet Semper

When Draco entered the dining room the next morning he was surprised to find both his parents seats empty. His feet carried him of their own volition towards the head of the table -his father's chair- where on the massive oak table lay a discarded sheet of parchment. With shaking hands Draco turned it over, not only was it not a missive informing him of their absence, but it was covered front and back in his mother's flowing script. The names of every Death Eater and lesser un-marked followers of the Dark Lord were on the document. Draco's hand shook in apprehension._ 'Have they gone to the ministry without me? Were they arrested while I fitfully slept?'_ Fear seized his heart and he had to force himself to calm down.

The sound of a throat clearing on the other side of the room had him jumping in shock and turning to face his former professor. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that Severus had already finished his breakfast and sat alone at the table -in his usual black on black attire- reading the Daily Prophet.

"Where did they go?"

"They had other business to attend to."

"They didn't tell you?"

Snape raised an eyebrow, "I did not ask."

Draco looked away, frustrated to have been left out of the loop. "They didn't turn themselves in, did they?"

Severus realized then why the younger man had been inquiring in depth. "No, I would not think they would just leave without telling their only son."

Taken aback, Draco ignored his comment anyways and sat down at the table. The moment he sat in the chair his breakfast magically appeared on the plate. He added milk to his oatmeal and stirred the clumpy mixture.

Since his father had clearly been present earlier for his early morning meal, he had left his copy of the Daily Prophet on the table. Draco found his way past the big headlines and settled for smaller stories. One of the first to catch his eye was titled: "Remaining Death Eaters Still At Large"

"I don't understand," Draco scoffed, throwing the paper haphazardly back onto the table, "The Ministry knows where the most of the Death Eaters are. And it's certain that 'Saint Potter' is clamoring for our arrest. What are they waiting for?"

"Think about this Draco. You know now from what I have told you that Shacklebolt is considerably fair. I believe he understands the intimidation which The Dark Lord caused in order to ensure his numbers in Death Eaters. He wants to give a chance for those who may chose a new allegiance considering fear of death will cause some to act against their will." As he explained this in his boorish tone he hadn't removed his eyes from the Prophet.

"Lucky for him then." Draco sneered, irritation still present in his tone.

The night before Draco had not been able to sleep much after his nightmare. His lack of sleep likely aided in his irritation, as well as the new pain he was encountering. Since the dream, the Mark on his forearm had been burning as if he had set it upon the hot coils of a fire. Though when he would look at the pale scar, no evidence of irritation was present. The pain was completely psychological. He was almost positive nothing would take the pain away except maybe time.

He distractedly ate small bites of his oatmeal as he focused his attention on the paper in front of him. The Muggle section contained concepts of a new culture focused solely on profit, which had only helped increase the number of food restaurants designed to produce meals at a fast rate. Unluckily for muggles, this consisted of cooking food in grease which only added to their obesity. Draco didn't find this section quite as interesting as the article about the ocean but read on anyways.

"If my father were to read this- muggles becoming overweight by their own fault- he would feel even more justified in his reasoning about them."

Severus looked up at the young man. Hardly ever did the boy say anything that regarded his fathers thoughts other than to infer that they were superior to all others. Curious to know what Draco's answer may be, he asked, "Do you feel his reasoning is flawed, perhaps?"

Draco considered the question. Surely the answer was simple, but he had never been questioned about his own fathers ethics, particularly by another adult. "My father... he is a bit prejudiced."

"A bit?"

Draco let out a soft laugh. Somehow the thinly veiled sarcasm Severus typically showed was always amusing to Draco. "He does hold a lot of resentment against muggles. They're..." he hesitated, "... not all bad though."

"No. Not all muggles are bad. Though it is hard to convince some wizards to see beyond quality of blood. If you were to consider wizards and muggles as a separate species, there are flaws and strengths equally divided within each group."

Draco nodded. "I go to the bar sometimes, and I have talked to some of the muggles. Most were questioned how I managed to buy drinks for looking so young... but some shared life stories in their drunken stupor. I found it most interesting that their values were hardly ever of wealth. My father had always insisted that for a muggle, someone rich in their eyes was like a sort of king. But the muggles I met hardly cared of riches. Their values were about helping others..." He paused, a very brief smile almost spread among his lips, "...especially during their Holidays."

Severus, who was technically no longer a teacher, still at heart had the same principles of a professor. For students he took interest in, he still questioned their reasoning and urged them to find their own thoughts and opinions. "And I presume this is different then the values you were taught to grow into?"

Across the table, Draco leaned back into his chair and nodded at the older man. "Values for a Malfoy are simple. Maintain a high social status, wealth and of course, pure blood. Sanctimonia Vincet Semper..."

By now Severus's paper was cast aside and his hands lay folded upon the table, his attention was engaged fully on Draco. The former professor leaned forward slightly, pinning Draco with his stare. "And I must ask, do you hold the same values?"

At that answer, he did not know. He appeared to be searching his brain, trying to consider the question. "I'm not sure. Things aren't the same, and it makes me question the values that never really gave anyone happiness."

Severus considered his answer for a moment before asking, "Are you happy? Surely besides the war-" Draco's eyes made quick contact, "your parents doted upon your strengths. They provided you walls that were glorified beyond what others at your school had. But, it appears, as you say that this is not happiness. Is that true?"

He looked the older man in the eyes, questioning his rights to be open about what his parents gave him and what he felt suitable. But alas, he shook his head.

"I see."

Draco felt almost ashamed to admit this. He was... thankful for what he had been given. But happiness... true happiness, _that_ he now understood money could not buy. But a sinking reality came close to his heart. He could now admit he was not happy. He knew he had not been happy in what felt like years.

Severus took a long drink of his steaming coffee and set the now empty cup on the table. "I hope you do not mind... seeing as you are left to your own thoughts with no other requirements for the day, you can assist me in the tedious task I must face of changing these wretched bandages."

Draco grimaced looking at his neck. "Does it hurt?"

"Her venom left it's justice."

He winced at the thought of the large snake's brutal attack. "Lucky you thought of the tear soaked bezoar so long ago."

"And lucky your mother honored my advice and kept one on her."

"Right." Draco sipped on his coffee.

"When you are finished, meet me in my room. Don't take long." Severus stood up and made his way out of the room and up to his own.

Draco did not take long to finish the last of his meal or resume his reading. When he walked up the man's room he felt really uneasy about the task he was about to do. For one he was not sure what to expect underneath the bandages. His mother had been the one to help Severus. She never said anything about how bad the bites looked, so there was a possibility they were not as awful as he imagined.

Still though, Draco felt sorry for Snape to have to deal with these wounds. From what he understood, snake bites were incredibly painful. If not treated exactly to textbook procedure, they would easily become infected -and in that case- definitely life threatening. So as much as he did not want to look at the grotesque wounds, he had to do so.

Knocking upon Severus's door, he heard the clinking of materials, then a moment later the door opened. Severus barely took the time to glance at him before he turned on his heel and walked towards the bathroom.

Reluctantly, Draco stepped into the room and followed the older man. Upon the counter-top of his bathroom lay all the materials needed for the process. Draco eyed the items keenly.

Severus, who had been finishing last minute arrangements, noticed the young man's apprehension. "The snake bite wound is not bad as one would think. Expect to see some blood, though as the wound is not fully healed. The flesh is not as badly off as it had once been. Be thankful you were not left to do your mothers task days ago."

The blonde nodded, looking to his instructor for reassurance. If there was one thing not many would even predict in Draco, it was that he was horrible around blood, for many reasons more than one. But some of those reasons were closer to his inner fears than he would let on to anyone.

"Draco, pay attention to what I am to do. This is general knowledge that one could benefit in acquiring. For instance, essence of murtlap must be applied and soon after it needs to make contact with the wounds for best results. Many would argue this is not essential, but in instance of dark wounds- it is."

The younger man nodded.

He stood back and watched as Severus began to un-do the bandages already around his neck. On the outside they appeared clean, but Draco was still unsure of the underneath. After a minute of Severus carefully removing the bandages, he slowly lifted them away.

After just a glance, Draco quickly looked away. The wounds were still freshly opened and had not healed as much as Draco predicted. He felt a stress well up inside him that he had not expected. Though no sign of infection was evident, the fact remained that it was still an open would in Draco's mind, and for some reason this bothered him more than he thought it would. He tried to remain calm and face the task in front of him.

Severus who had not been paying Draco any attention, put the bandage in the trash and turned to the equipment upon the sink. "We will need to be quick while we apply the essence of murtlap"

The younger man leaned against the counter and began to lay out the bandages. Severus on Draco's left side, had opened his phial of essence of Murtlap. "Once applied, be sure to not take your time so we will only need to do this once."

Swallowing, Draco handed Severus the clean bandages. The unspoken plan was for Snape to apply the essence, then Draco to place them upon his neck. It seemed simple enough.

The bandages lay beneath Severus's hand as he tilted the phial. The greenish substance oozed out onto the bandages, and when just enough was on, he pulled his hand away and Draco reached for it. Severus stepped back so Draco had enough room to apply the bandage.

Draco picked the bandage up and moved so he was facing Snape. Just inches away from the taller man, he looked straight into the wounds. A sudden prickling spread up his lower back and ended up behind his neck.

_A dark cackling burst into his ear. Draco lay upon the cellar floor, his face pressed upon the cold stone with his fists balled on either side. _

"_Look at me. I want to see your pain." _

_With all the effort in his body that he could muster, he picked his face off the floor. His hair was rustled, dust from the floor stuck to the blood coated in it's blonde roots. His head had been cut open from the recent attack of hurtling him onto the unforgiving surface. He had cried in agony when it happened and felt as if crying out now. _

_But you never admitted your weakness to the Dark Lord. _

_Draco looked at his attacker and actually felt the fury buried beneath those snake eyes. Like a vulture, they gazed back down into his with an unrestrained ferocity. _

_A smile came upon that ugly stare. He was pleased at the reaction he had created in his plaything. But no, he was not fully satisfied just yet. "Stand." _

_Draco did as he was told, half wobbling from his likely concussion, stood in front of his perpetrator. His white button upon was ripped open in some areas, blood staining its once perfect brightness. _

_He felt like vomiting. He felt so nauseous and yet knew more was yet to come so chose to ignore any assault his stomach threatened._

"_Poor Draco. No wand to defend himself."_

_Draco gulped. And yet he knew he was in more for this. _

"_Where is your wand, Draco?"_

"_With Potter." _

"_You are a fool. I asked one task, one- crucio!" _

_Draco could not help the scream that erupted from his cracked lips. He fell over onto the cold floor, flailing and writhing in unbearable agony that shook him to his very core. The anguish seemed to stretch for hours- perhaps it had. He lost all sense of time and propriety as the curse turned his own mind against him. He felt as if his bones and joints were being twisted out of shape. The aching burn in his muscles had intensified into an excruciating flame. He grit his teeth in an effort to quiet his screams. He could almost feel his teeth crack under the stress and he was still unable to stop the howl of pain that tore out of his raw throat. Maybe he would go insane and never feel anything but the pain forever. Maybe pain was all that was left._

_But the pain stopped. And the reality that it was never going to be over grew in his heart. _

"_Stand you fool!"_

_Coughing, Draco found his way to his knees, then up to his feet. Of all the times in his life he felt weak, now was not a moment to show it. His blood lay splattered on the gray stone. It was everywhere. 'Is it possible to bleed much more?'_

_Draco lifted his eyes from his own split blood and stood in front of the demon. Voldemort came forward and squeezed Draco's chin in his hands. He brought Draco's face close to his own._

"_You will soon beg me for death." _

Severus stood still, his chin tilted in the air as he waited for the contact of the essence to ease his irritated wounds. But it seemed as though Draco was a bit too nervous to do the job accurately. After a few seconds longer than necessary, Severus spoke. "Draco."

_No reply. _

Snape looked down, and unexpectedly saw the blonde staring off to where his neck was. "Draco, what are you doing?"

_Still nothing. _

The young man didn't even budge when harassed. Severus came to realize the look in Draco's eyes. He too knew the signs of a mind wandering into another world apart from their own. Draco's eyes were unfocused, a look of intense pain marring his face. Tempted to use his skill and read the boy's thoughts, Severus reached his hand down to pull the younger man's chin up to face him.

At the touch of fingers upon his face, Draco suddenly jerked away, his back colliding harshly with the marble sink. Some of the instruments flew from the surface when Draco's hand knocked them over on impact.

Draco began breathing hard and looked up to the older man as if he had just been physically assaulted. He used his shaking hands for support before they to gave way and he slid hopelessly to the floor, his back still pressed uncomfortably against the vanity. His eyes stayed glued on the man who had touched his chin.

"Draco," Severus knelt down and reached out a hand reassuringly to the blonde.

Draco's eyes darted to the hand as if it were to strike him in an instant. Before he could let himself calm, his stomach rolled uncontrollably.

Vomit began to bring its way up in his throat but Draco managed to turn to the floor in time. He felt the attack seem to go on for minutes before he could fully calm himself.

Even after the assault had passed, Draco lay still, his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat that left his clothes sticking to him.

Careful as he could, knowing the young man was in a state of panic, Severus reached out a hand and placed it upon Draco's back. He felt mild shivers racing through the young mans body, a sign he was not fully calmed but that he had returned to reality.

"What did you see?"

Draco shook his head. "Nothing."

"Don't take me for a fool! What did you see?"

Draco shook his head, refusing to look at Snape. By now Snape had pulled out his wand and began to vanish the expelled vomit from the floor with a spell. If being a professor had taught him anything was that eventually you would get used to the amount of sick you had to clean up.+

Draco pulled himself up onto his knees and starred down at his knees. He felt ashamed he had let his emotions get the better of him. Severus had finished cleaning up and looked over at Draco.

"How long has this been happening?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. I got sick is all, probably due to the house elves-"

"I can recognize the signs of what you are enduring, that is no _physical _sickness," spat the wiser man.

"Can we just get on with this?" Draco slammed his fist onto the floor.

Not taken aback by the physical aggression Severus asked, "Can I trust you with gather you emotions and focus on the task?"

"Yes," Draco breathed looking away from where Severus now stood over him.

Draco used the counter to pull himself up and continued to ignore the gaze of Severus who bore his eyes into the back of Draco's head. Draco picked up a new set of bandages and re-applied the essence. He took a deep breathe before he turned around. He chose to only use what sight of the wound he needed in order to get the bandage aligned just right, otherwise his eyes did not focus upon the wound.

His hand held the bandage against Severus's neck, while his other hand reached for a tape to hold the bandage in place upon the skin.

He applied the last piece of tape. "There," he spat, then tossed the tape onto the counter-top and began to walk out of the room.

"Not just yet," Severus said before reaching out and taking Draco by the shoulder so the younger man involuntarily faced him. "Whether or not you are willing to accept it, but without help, your visions will only get worse or remain the same. They will never go away, you will need to learn to control them."

Draco sneered, glaring at the man. His pale gray eyes looked into the dark ones, "I don't know what you _think _you know of, but I assure you know nothing!"

"Let me remind you that it would be but an easy task to see beyond those eyes of yours and into your hidden lies."

Draco's eyes burned deep holes into Severus. "I don't need your help." Draco pushed the hand from his shoulder and gave Snape one last glare before turning heel and leaving the room.

Severus's eyes followed Draco as he stormed from the room and slammed the door. "Foolish child," he mumbled before beginning to clean up the rest of the supplies.

Severus was well aware of the signs Draco had shown him. His blank stare, the look of fear upon his eyes. It was obvious he had been taken back to a time that haunted him. Though Severus was sure the stimulant for his attack had to do with the bloody wound he was forced to look at.

DDDD

Draco slammed his fist into the side of the wall. He walked in the hallway away from the room, away from where his memories had gotten the better of him. Draco was furious with himself for getting sick. He had only ever been roughly sick a handful or occasions. Another time he had regained consciousness from a flashback and his whole room had been destroyed. But other from his mother, his flashbacks of horrors past remained a secret.

Even though he tried to erase some of the values of the Malfoy name from his inner self, one of the qualities of a Malfoy still remained- he was too proud to ask for help.

He cursed himself for not having his wand. The wand he had carried close to his side at the young age of 11. There were times when he would begin to lose control and instead of raging he found a sense of calm by creating beautiful magic.

Draco yanked open the door leading up to the attic. He needed to feel solitude for a while- to get away from distractions or Severus badgering him to get help. Draco jogged up the steps and into the darkness of the room. The cold greeted him like an old friend- wrapping him in its arms and held tight. He paced walking up and down in a line, grabbing at his blonde hair, desiring nothing more than to distract himself from his defeat.

'I don't need bloody help!' he cursed inside his head before letting himself drop to the floor. He gently tapped his forehead with his balled up fists as if he could physically force the memories from his mind. After a moment he felt his arms tire and then drop to the dusty floor.

His eyes looked at where the wretched scar lay hidden beneath his shirt. A bloody cursed mark.

In the beginning the flashbacks were more of reminders. He'd remember a moment which he tried to forget, but that would be just that. He eventually found more often he had to think to shut them out, then eventually... he couldn't. His mother had been the first to notice his blank stares. Usually the trigger for his episodes was a room, such as the cellar. But then it began to take over his other senses... his smell, touch, hearing and then it drifted into his dreams. Dreams are one's own escape from reality of the world. A dream can help discover inner fears, bring about your greatest pleasures, or show you true happiness. But when dreams betray you completely and force you to relive your greatest nightmares, then there can be no escape from the things we run from even when we thought we were safe.

Letting out a rough sigh, Draco stood up, suddenly deciding against staying in the attic. If he had a wand he would just conjure what he wanted, but instead he was forced to doing things by hand- like a muggle. Draco began down the stairs and out the door leading into the hallway on the second floor. Turning a corner, he rounded to go down the large staircase.

Even though this was no way to ease one's problems, it served better than just feeling angry about a situation beyond one's control. And to be honest, he was quite frustrated by his parents absence. Even assuming they weren't turning themselves in, the fact still remained that they had purposely kept him from the loop and left early in the morning.

His shoes echoed the marble flooring as he stepped from the staircase. Making a turn towards the dining room, he came into the vacant room. In a cupboard away from the table was a variety of golden or dark brown contents. Some were clear, but those weren't among Draco's preference so he hardly took notice.

He opened the glass door of the cabinet and fingered the tops of the bottles deciding which would be suitable for the occasion. Picking a short, round glass bottle of whiskey, he pulled the bottle up as it's sides clinked farewell to it's neighbors. The bottle was mostly full, maybe a couple of shots were missing. On a shelf above the other bottles was a variety of shot glasses.

One of Draco's early memories of Lucius was him explaining to Draco his shot glass collection. He preferred the shot glasses with snake heads, or even the shot glass with a naked woman shaped upon the side. Most of the other shot-glasses were pretty basic, but held reminders to him of occasions. Some had thin cursive spells written upon the sides, most of the spells dark. There was even a shot glass with the cruciatis curse written on it. His favorite though, was the shot glass with green emeralds covering the sides. This shot glass would refill itself from whatever liquor it's user wished it to contain as long as it came from the cabinet.

Though this one was always tempting, Draco didn't trust it. Perhaps it was because it was his fathers favorite, or that it was always the shot glass Lucius used after him and his wife would argue late into the day. Draco remembered watching his father carry the shot glass around the home, mumbling insults of Draco's mother to himself . The more he drank, the worse the insults became. So therefore, Draco never felt accustom to it. Perhaps the shot-glass tricked its user into drinking more than he should, because his father rarely drank himself into passing out. But each time he drank from this glass, Narcissa would find him in random locations of the mansion, fast asleep. Therefore, the shot-glass was untrustworthy, so Draco never used it.

He poured the amber-colored liquor into a plain black shot-glass filling it to it's brim. With a steady hand, he lifted the contents to his lips then tilted his head back to allow the fluid quick access and past his tongue. The first one was always the one to burn the worst, coating the back of his mouth and throat with the bitter taste that almost made him choke, but alas the liquid filled his stomach and he welcomed the burn.

He breathed deeply and set out for another shot. The second he filled just as high, and took it exactly the same. Sometimes his body protested against a second once he had the first, but he forced it's counter protest aside and shot the second. It's burn was still evident, but not the same as the first. He prepped for a third. The third shot he took without any issue from his body. A little whiskey tricked from his chin but he wiped it away with a long sleeve.

He set the shot glass down upon the cabinets edge and poured a fourth. The fourth he did not fill as high to the top. This one he shot with more ease than the others.

Just as he was finished with a fifth, he heard the door shut in the main hallway. Draco paused what he was doing and looked in the doorway that led to the entryway. Though he couldn't see his parents, he still glared daggers through the walls. He set the glass upon the wooden cabinet and it's clink echoed in the empty room. He poured another shot.

He heard soft voices in the other room, and then noticed his father's grow louder. "I'll be upstairs in a little," he said before Draco heard his footsteps come towards the dining room.

Lucius stepped into the room and his eyes automatically noticed his son. He looked pleased with himself- a change not seen for some time. He wore his typical uniform for business which frustrated Draco even more. Lucius walked towards Draco as his eyes drifted to the cabinet.

"To what occasion do you celebrate?"

"Having a little fun in Diagon Alley without me? Let me guess, you gave your full confession just in time for lunch?"

Lucius smiled, but did not answer Draco's allegation. His long blonde hair was brushed to it's best appearance and lay perfectly on his wide shoulders. He picked up the shot-glass covered in emeralds and eyed it adoringly. "I always preferred this glass the best. But alas my conscious warns me it is devious- but I will never let your mother know this. No, she would of cast it away." He set the glass down. "No not today. But today does call for a shot. Hmm, yes, my lovely mermaid." He chose a shot glass with a mermaid swimming along the glass, he beautiful red hair trailing down her slender back.

Choosing the same bottle of whiskey that Draco had pulled free, he opened the bottle and filled his shot glass to the very brim- like father like son. As he set the bottle back down he eyed Draco, then with a firm grasp to not spill an ounce, he lifted the glass into the air and held it steady signifying for Draco to take his own into his hand. Draco lifted his own and held it, but did not extend his arm.

"To what do we owe the occasion, _father_?" Draco sneered.

"To the future," Lucius smiled grimly, "May the future generations of Malfoy's forever treasure it's gifts of luxury and above all else, '_Sanctimonia Vincet Semper'_."

Draco eyed his father skeptically, but lifted his arm anyway, and both father and son clinked their glasses together.


	9. The List

Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up with this story! I have recently started another FF but this story is going to be my main project until it's finished.

Next chapter things will really pick up and if you're an angst lover then I'm sure you will find it appealing.

**000ooo000ooo**

The first of their duel sessions took place on the grounds outside of the manor.

Draco's wand hand thrust forward, extending his arm to it's furthest reach. A silver sword sprung from it's end, aiming to the opposing wand-hand. The magical blades of steel clanged as their vapor-blades struck together. His hand drew back as he anticipated to take an other strike against the opponent. Severus's reactions were much quicker, and skill aided in his reaction. The silver sword met a black wand-made sword yet again. Both opponents held their position against the other. Draco grunted, he began to let his arm weaken.

"Focus!" shouted Severus.

Draco regained his lingering determination and growled, now placing his free hand over the wand hand. He stepped into the hold against the other man. Knowing this could go on no longer without wasted energy, Draco let his grasp against the man loosen and stepped back, but immediately aimed to strike again.

Severus matched his move, ready to meet his dark magic against the blonde's. His dark robes flung around his body, giving a dramatic effect to the battle between the men. A strong gust of wind soared by, in it's tight grasp it held hostage of many lose leaves held at bay by the free wind. Above their heads the sky grew menacingly dark since the start of their training. An early fall storm danced above their heads, taunting the scared into hiding for it's striking thunder was sure to come soon.

Severus saw Draco's in-air sword lift to strike down on him, but aimed his own black sword perfectly to deflect the blade.

Draco stumbled forward, his blade fell into a shrub in the garden. The shrub immediately sliced in half as if no effort had been made in it's demise, for it had been struck by an extremely sharp attack of dark magic.

"Damn!" He cursed, regained his footing and too soon aimed to strike again. Severus appeared almost bored of the battle. He had anticipated the younger man's attack and was ready to meet his sword against Draco's.

Draco's weaker sword vanished in a smoke of air as he was unable to hold a strong hold.

Severus who was skilled in this type of magic was able to stop his blade from harming the blonde. Frustrated, Snape mumbled the incantation to dismiss his own sword."Un tenebris gladio." His sword poofed into a cloud of dust. The dark smoke froze mid-air before suddenly vanishing. "Try as you will, you will not win your oppenet unless you deliberate. Predict his moves. Be one step ahead of him constantly!"

Draco looked at the man and shrugged. "I have never been trained in craftman ship, this isn't exactly easy you know?"

"Craftman ship of the sword will be your next step. You need to use your mind. Your mind will be the first thing to save you in a battle against wits. Mastering the sword is not essential in my training."

"I am using my mind!"

"No, you are not!" Frustrated, Severus clenched a fist in front of his own chest and glared to the young man. "Simply moving your wand and hoping to make contact against your opponent is not using your mind. Think, what will my motive be? How can you be one step ahead? This counts towards all dark-magic used against you. Be as you have never been in a true battle, you obviously have no clue of how to duel!"

Thunder in the distance grumbled it's way through the sky.

His silver eyes looked to the eerie gray sky above for a brief second, but met them back to the dark eyes before him. "That's not true."

"Which statement?"

Draco stumbled at a thought for words. True he did know the elements of a duel, he had been trained in Hogwarts- against Potter even. Though, in battle he had never been.

"Nevermind," defeated, Draco tossed the spare wand to the man. "Have your wand back, the storm will be here soon anyways."

"Did I dimiss you?" Severus stepped forward and grabbed the shoulder of the man who began to walk towards the mansion.

Feeling the tug of the strong hand against himself, Draco stopped and made eye contact with the tall man. "May I be excused for this evening?" He sneered sarcastically.

Snape held onto the shoulder and looked into the young eyes. "Take my lessons seriously next time, or they will be at an end." He let Draco's should free. "Go."

Another loud shattering sound of thunder sprang in the air.

Draco's eye contact lingered absentmindedly looking in the distance. The words seemed to hit him, but as stubborn as he was known to be, he merely glared at the man before turning back around and fleeing to the house just as rain began to fall.

Severus stood in moment, looking at the back of Draco who made his way into the home. Who did he think he was? Arrogant, obviously. Wasting the time of Severus was extremely frustrating. The man could think of so many more productive things he could be accomplishing. For instance, he could be writing his written confession to the Ministry or preparing himself to be known as alive. Of course his crime felt far worse, considering the the rest of the Wizarding World, he was the one who killed Dumbledore.

The slam of the back door grabbed his attention. Lost in the ice cold drops of the rain, he gathered himself and put both wands back into his robes. The extra wand he had disarmed from a student the same evening of the attack at Hogwarts. Meaning to put it in safe keeping with either Filch or the Carrows, he had put it in his robes just before he had called the meeting with the students. Though with later events of the night, the wand never had the chance to be put away, and since then it essentially became a spare which came in handy for the training sessions- seeing as Draco still did not have a new wand.

Possibly, Draco felt an attachment to his old wand which held him from finding a new one. As insensitive as Draco could be, it would be only natural for him to desire his first wand back which Potter had taken. The other more likely scenario could be that he hadn't had the courage to step back into Diagon alley and buy one. Either way, Severus felt lucky to have the spare for Draco to use for their sessions. He hadn't felt comfortable with allowing Draco the wand at all times. The young adult appeared on edge in recent days, and in the end, their would be no real reason to arm himself with Severus living in the same home.

Walking across the manacured lawn his shoes sloshed through the formed puddles. A wave of his hand opened the door and shut it after he stepped inside. Snape used his wand to dry his feet and the footprints he left behind.

"Severus." Lucius stood in the hallway holding in his hand a glass of wine. "We were hoping you would sit with us to discuss... arangments. I believe now is a good time. Draco and Narcissa are seated in my office ready to begin."

Severus nodded his head and followed Lucius into his private office on the main level. His office was commonly used for business meetings, and was furnished to reflect his dominant econimic status. The windows let dim light skim over the leather furniture. Walking inside, Severus spotted Narcissa and Draco seated in the chairs of the office chairs facing the long dark-oak desk. Naricssa looked up at the two men entering the room and nodded to Severus before looking directly at her husband who shut the door softly with a 'click'. Draco's eyes met with Severus's for a second, his cheeks blushed with embarrasment for the way their session had ended just moments prior.

A crack of lightning lit up the room closely followed by a roll of thunder. A strong gust of wind threw itself against the side of the reisidence. Rain on the windows began to patter in speed.

Severus sat beside the two adults as Lucius placed himself in his seat facing the three. An awkward silence stretched for many moments, broken by the rustling of a newspaper Lucius fetched from a stack of papers on his desk.

He placed the Daily Prophit in front of him and directed everyone's attention placing his finger on a headline that read "Ministry seeks Death Eaters Confessions".

"Now, before we begin to discuss this, I need to be clear we all are under an understanding of what is at stake." His eyes looked up into each person in front of him. "We are obviously... all included," his met Draco's and Narcissa's againx, "at guilt for our actions in the past, according to the Minister of Magic- Kingsley Shacklebolt. Even you Narcissa- though you no crimes listed, you are still in ownership of the home where you openly let Voldemort take refuge." He paused to lean back in his chair. "It is only a matter of time before we will be sought out and face a trial. The likliness of our sentance will be to the strongest extent punishble for our discressions."

A flash of lightning struck the room. The gloom outside only deemed to be darker than just prior to their meeting.

Draco shifted nervously in his chair. Lucius looked at his only son and let his eyes drift down to his desk. "Though, I fear that out of all in this room, my and Severus's crimes will be tallied rather harshly against us."

"Unless you guys turn in the others," Draco implored, asking more than stating.

"Yes. That is what I plan for us to do." He pulled out of his desk a slip of paper with writing Draco recognized. It was the parchment which he had let anger himself earlier. The list had been added onto since it had been left on the table.

"I have thought of as many as I could. I don't feel there are many other's left out. I am afraid though that we have been out-raced by others doing the same."

"Though, I am sure you have excelled in the challenge, considering you are aware of secret wareabouts of many... more so than others before us." Severus rubbed his chin while eyeing the man skeptically. Sure Lucius and he were good friends, but even Snape was well aware that if events had turned out differently, he himself would be one of the many on the list. He was well aware since the beginning of their "friendship" that it more-so a business agreement, and whether equitable or not, Lucius never dealt his cards fairly.

Lucius smirked, "Yes, I thought the same. Or at least I can hope. With this list, Severus, you and I will be at an upper-hand."

The rain began to pattern more harshly against the window pane. The thunder rumbled the room in between the unspoken silence.

"I have prepared this list, for us to go forth with our confession. I want us to keep in mind, partically Narcissa and Draco, that with this, our actions will be obviously lighter than if we remained in hiding. Even Severus, my friend, will benefit if he goes forth with us... preferably, soon that is."

No one spoke for several minutes. Their thoughts lingered on the immense plan that held two of their fates. The only person in the room to fear for simply his own fate was the head of house for the Malfoys. The rest equally worried for one another in the next coming weeks.

Severus finally broke the silence, his dark eyes bearing into Lucius's. "When, my _friend_, do we plan to take action?"

Lucius weakly smiled for a split second before the stress flashed upon his face once more. Lightning struck once more and lit up the room as bright as day, then returning it to it's profound darkness. Draco looked to his father, awaiting the answer while Narcissa used her wand to light the candles in the room.

"I'm afriad that we have waited far too long than necessary."

"We aren't too late are we?" Draco pressed to the two men.

Snape spoke to the young man, "We will soon find out-"

"Yes but when?" He impatiently asked once again.

"Tomorrow," Lucius stated at a flash of lightning extinguished the shadow of the room.

.


End file.
